The modern adult version of "I'll be your best friend" is the MySpace "top friends" list. "I'll be your best friend" is the highly effective negotiating tactic employed by generations of children to obtain a toy, cupcake or good will from their peers. And, as any child who has ever handed over candy with the hopes and aspirations of actually being Adam Johnson's best friend can attest, it works.
Ranking our friends, as it turns out, is serious stuff. Our real friends of course get a ranking, but the list can also be used to court favor with others. A first date can appear in the ranking as part of the courtship process. People can also be dropped from the list in a passive aggressive burst of disapproval or anger.
I was curious to see if the "top friends" of certain more prominent adults could provide clues about from whom they are trying to court favor. I've also included the tagline that MySpace allows its members to include next to their primary picture in hopes of understanding the belief or cause of these people.
Here are some of my favorites:
Hillary Clinton (no tagline provided) has 19 top friends of which her number one pick, as it turns out, is herself. The number two slot is also herself. And number four is none other than herself. Proving that one needs to believe in one's self to be the President of the United States, Hillary has employed triple best-friend redundancy. She can rest assured that she can count on a vote for herself in the Democratic Primary.
Barak Obama (tagline: "Join the Official Barack Obama Myspace Profile") has 40 best friends. His best friend right now is "Iowa for Obama" followed by "New Hampshire for Obama." He's obviously trying to use the "I'll be your best friend" tactic to court favor in two primary states. His fourth best friend is Christina Cheatham, a psychology and political science major at Georgia College and State University. Christina enjoys psychological thrillers, singing and learning to belly dance. That ranking worked, however, Christina donated $5 through MySpace to the Obama campaign.
John Edwards (tagline: "For America") has 24 top friends of which his number one is his wife, Elizabeth. He posted a good video which challenges his critics complaints that he spent $400 on a haircut. His 2nd best friend is a US soldier currently on deployment in Afghanistan. His third friend is a volunteer from One Corps, Edwards' grassroots organization. His fourth friend is Anael. I don't know anything about Anael or what Edwards is trying to woo from him.
President Bush (tagline: "http://www.whitehouse.gov/") doesn't seem to have many friends. He has a total of 86 friends of which he ranks only five as his top friends. These include: Craig, a self-described, 26 year old self-deprecating mathematician from Ann Arbor, Michigan. Saina, a 27 year old Canadian, er, model. Little Miss Moaner, a young woman from Devon in the UK and a gentleman from Los Angeles who says he's "just looking for the bar..." I was going to make a witty comment about Mr. Bush's top friends, but I can't come up with anything better than his actual top five friends.
A very sporty looking Mitt Romney (tagline: "The Official MySpace Page of Governor Mitt Romney") is all about family. He's got 23 top friends of which his number one is his wife, Ann. Friends two through six are his five sons - Tagg, Josh, Matt, Ben and Craig. And sneaking in at number 23 on the list is none other than the ubiquitous Tom. Tom Anderson is president and co-founder of MySpace and is friends with everyone on the popular networking site. You've got to give it to Mitt Romney, he's hoping his "I'll be your best friend" will court favor with Tom's 193,904,348 friends.
John McCain (no tagline) enjoys sports, hiking, fishing, boxing, basketball, football and history. His favorite film is Viva Zapata!, a film about Mexican revolutionary Emiliano Zapata, who led a rebellion against the
corrupt, oppressive dictatorship of president Porfirio Diaz in the
early 20th century. I applaud McCain's choice of film, it certainly helps us understand what he's passionate about. Problem is, it's a film from 1952; Harry Truman was President and Barack Obama was 9 years old.
Joking aside, these examples show some good and bad uses of the
popular community site. Some are used as shameless sales pitches,
which are no more effective than bad advertising. And some are used to actually attempt to articulate a cause for us to believe in. Of course, the most egregious example is George W. Bush. It's obviously not a profile managed by the White House - once again proving, if you don't control what you say, someone else will.
Advice to would-be all political or corporate MySpacers:
- Keep your profile simple
- Try to communicate what you believe in clear and succinct terms
- And manage your top friends...you never know when you might need them.