Re:Focus

The Low Road

The Low Road   a poem by Marge Piercy

What can they do
to you? Whatever they want.
They can set you up, they can
bust you, they can break
your fingers, they can
burn your brain with electricity,
blur you with drugs till you
can t walk, can’t remember, they can
take your child, wall up
your lover. They can do anything
you can’t blame them
from doing. How can you stop
them? Alone, you can fight,
you can refuse, you can
take what revenge you can
but they roll over you.

But two people fighting
back to back can cut through
a mob, a snake-dancing file
can break a cordon, an army
can meet an army.

Two people can keep each other
sane, can give support, conviction,
love, massage, hope, sex.
Three people are a delegation,
a committee, a wedge. With four
you can play bridge and start
an organisation. With six
you can rent a whole house,
eat pie for dinner with no
seconds, and hold a fund raising party.
A dozen make a demonstration.
A hundred fill a hall.
A thousand have solidarity and your own newsletter;
ten thousand, power and your own paper;
a hundred thousand, your own media;
ten million, your own country.

It goes on one at a time,
it starts when you care
to act, it starts when you do
it again after they said no,
it starts when you say We
and know who you mean, and each
day you mean one more.

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Why You Shouldn’t Hire An Ostrich To Do Customer Service

When an ostrich feels threatened it buries its head in the sand. The ostrich believes, so the theory goes, that if it can’t see you, then you don’t exist.  Danger averted. This is one of the primary reasons we don’t hire ostriches for customer service jobs.  Simply ignoring a customer will not alleviate their problem nor will it make them go away.  It may come as a surprise then how many customer service professionals seem to have been trained by ostriches.

Just a few days ago, I walked up to a counter at the airport to ask the gate agent a quick and simple question.  I saw she was on the phone as I approached and expected to wait a minute or two.  As she saw me approach she averted her eyes down and away.  I stood and waited patiently. 

Standing right next to her, I could hear her call. It was about something work related but it included a lot of he-said-she-said also.  I only had a quick question; she wouldn’t even need to look anything up on her computer or even end her conversation.  I politely interrupted, “I’m sorry, can you tell me where the B terminal is please?” Instead of asking whoever was on the other end of the line to hold on a second so she could quickly answer my question, she actually turned away from me even more, not even acknowledging that I existed.  Like an ostrich, she thought that if she couldn’t see me, then I don’t exist or at least I’d go away.

I didn’t go away.  Instead, I seethed.

I tend not to be the seething sort, so it fascinated me why I seethed.  Was it because I want all the attention and I expect to be listened to and heard on my terms, when I wanted it, especially by someone who is supposed to be in a customer service role?

I could have easily walked away and asked someone else.  I probably could have found a sign if I looked around a little more.  Damn her, she’s a customer service agent and I’m a customer!

Nope. It was none of those things.

A few days later, I was in a hotel and wanted to know which way the conference center was.  Again, a simple question that wouldn’t require anyone to do any work, look anything up on a computer or even stop what they were doing.  Just like a few days before, I approached the concierge counter and the concierge was on the phone.  Like a few days before, she was talking about something work related but there was clearly a little extra friendly banter.  Like a few days before, she didn’t interrupt her call to help me. She continued to talk on the phone leaving me standing there to wait for her.  But she did one simple thing completely different.  She looked over the phone, held up her finger and mouthed the words, “I’ll be right with you…”

I didn’t go away this time either…but this time, I felt fine.

No seething.  No anger. No incensed customer demanding immediate attention.

So often, companies forget that 100% of customers are people. And people are human.  And humans are a sensitive sort.  A delicate mix of caffeine, sleep-deprivation, hormones, uncertainty, social awkwardness, stubbornness and a dash of the-world-revolves-around-me-because-I’m-the-customer. Though we think we want answers and immediate attention, in reality we just want to be acknowledged.  We just want someone to show us, in some way, that they recognize that we exist. If we don’t get that, we demand even more than we really need and act like a buffoon until we do.  In contrast, if our existence is acknowledged, we show remarkable patience and generosity.

More than one of my friends have complained to me that when they come over to my apartment, I just scream out come in. They will walk in while I’m finishing an email and, without looking up, I’ll just shout out, “hey.”  The first time I heard the complaint I pushed back, “I’ve known you for years, you’ve been here thousands of times, just give me a minute and I’ll give you all my attention.”  Then I added the kicker, “why so selfish?”  But my friends are human (for the most part) and are, like me, a sensitive lot. So after more than one person told me it was rude, I tried taking my head out of the ground.

Now, when my friends come over, I hear the same knock and, even if the door is unlocked, I get up and let them in.  “Hey,” I say, “come in, I’m just finishing an email, give me a minute and I’ll be right with you.”  They say, “don’t worry, take as long as you want.”  I get more time to finish what I need to and no one feels uncomfortable. 

Perhaps we should change the term "customer service representative" to "people service representative" just to remind everyone that customers are people too.

p.s. no need to send me an email telling me that ostriches don't actually bury their heads in the sand. I know they don't.  But that doesn't change the fact that too many customer service representatives do.

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Why Better Is Better Than Best

The fastest runners in the world run between 12-14mph (19-23kph). The average bear runs between 30-40mph (48-64kph).  That means if a bear decides to give chase, even Usain Bolt, the world record sprinter, could not outrun it.

But there is an adage: to get away from a bear you don't have to be the fastest runner in the world, you just have to be faster than the guy behind you.  

The same is true in business. 

It is amazing how many businesses, big and small, like to present themselves as "the best." I once met an optometrist, for example, who bragged to me that her store had "the best service in the industry." A claim that is simply untrue - or at least there is no way to actually measure if it even if it is true.  At the end of the day, there is no way for any business to say they offer the best of anything - service, quality or features. There are no standard metrics and most companies have no idea who all their competitors are. 

The good news is, you don't need to be the best. You need to be better.  "The best" is an impossible standard that lacks credibility. But "better" is a realistic claim and a much easier comparison to make. The optometrist I met should have told me that she was "driven to offer better service than any of the other stores in the area and, more importantly, to outdo her own great service every year." To her this seemingly lower claim is actually much more realistic, much more believable and much more appealing.

The standard of "better" also keeps you on your toes. Like being chased by a bear, you always have to be one step ahead not to get eaten. Thinking you're better means you have to keep pushing, learning and improving because there is still room for improvement (not to mention there is a huge bear running behind you). Being the best offers only a short-term advantage.

  Once you're the best, there is no incentive to push any harder and laziness or hubris start to set in (think about any big company that made it to the top of their industry only to be bashed from all sides by every competitor...bashed by everyone working to be better). And for all those "bests" out there who believe their incentive is to stay the best, they are fooling themselves. Just as there is much more of an incentive to lose a few pounds than to stay the same weight, just as there is much more of an incentive to run your next race faster than to  run it at the same pace, the incentive to improve is always more powerful than the false incentive to stay in one place, even if it's the best.

Any great athlete, company or leader that is actually capable of staying ahead of the pack for any significant period of time is able to do so not because they think they are the best, but because they show up every day to do better than their most important competitor of all: themselves.

Pushing yourself and those around you to be the best is unsustainable. Pushing yourself and those around you to be better is the only way to best the best...and outrun the bear.

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Ready. Aim. Miss!

What do you think you can achieve this year? Make that your target and pursue it. 

This is what most people and companies do. "Our target is 30," they say, and they get really excited when they hit 29.  Or SUPER excited when they hit 31.  Just look at Wall Street predictions, as an example. Always remarkably accurate...or perhaps their goals are just too small.

The problem in the world is that life is about managing expectations. If we over promise and miss our target, others will say we failed. If we under promise and exceed our predictions, others will hail us as geniuses.  The question is, do you want be a hailed as a genius or do you want to actually advance something in the world?

You can feel happy and take steps with achievable goals, but progress and innovation only happen with unrealistic goals. It is the entrepreneurs and the innovators in the world who consistently set unrealistic goals.  "We're going to hit 100," they say, and are really disappointed when they only hit 80.

Any great and inspiring leader or organization that ever lived set out to do something completely unrealistic.  Most of them probably never achieved what they set out to. And most of them also probably achieved more than anyone else thought possible.

Realistic goals will give you the feeling you've done something remarkable, but only unrealistic goals will ensure you actually do.

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What Can Be Gained From This Decision?

I got an email from an old friend.  Well...I say friend, but in reality I haven't had any contact with her for over two years.  Over the years, I have reached out and tried to make contact, but never received a reply.  She wasn't close enough that I would go through any emotional trauma...so my life progressed without her in it.

Then, on Sunday night, quite out of the blue, I received an email from her.  "Hey Simon," began the email, "we haven't spoken in a while.  Congrats again on your book last year."  Then the email launches straight into what read like a copy-and-paste job from some form letter.  She wanted my help to vote for something she's doing and tell people about it on my blog. 

I found it remarkable that someone who has basically ignored me for a long time had the audacity to email me, offer some fake congratulations for something I did 10 months ago then immediately ask for something. 

In my mind, I started to pen my reply.

Option 1 - Sarcasm: 

Dear X,

So good to hear from you.  It has been a while since last we talked.  I think that's because you stopped returning my calls or emails.  But now that you've emailed me out of the blue when you need something, I'd be glad to help.  You can count on my vote.

- Simon

Option 2 - Honesty: 

Dear X,

What a surprise. I never thought I'd ever hear from you again. If I'm honest, I'm a little taken aback how you all but ignore me for two years then email me only when you need something.  Under different circumstances, I would have been happy to support you, but given these circumstances, I feel quite uncomfortable doing so and won't be voting for you or lending any support.  I wish you luck and perhaps our paths will cross again under nicer conditions,

- Simon

Option 3 - To the point:

Dear X,

No. 

- Simon

Which to send, which to send, which to send?

To help me decide, I applied a little test.  Whenever there is a hard decision, especially one that involves emotions, I ask myself, "what can be gained from this decision?" And the answer was, for all the options: nothing. If I sent a reply of any sorts, all I would be doing is satisfying my own ego and getting in a jab or a last word. At best, I wouldn't get a reply from her and at worst I'd unleash a potentially bloody battle.  In other words - there was nothing to be gained from sending any reply.  And so I sent nothing.

So often we're faced with decisions that are almost completely emotional. The impact can sometimes agitate a neutral situation or exacerbate an already bad one. The decisions we make should have a positive impact on us, our lives, our jobs, the people around us and even our competitors or opponents. If nothing can be gained by a decision, then that decision should be left alone...which can achieve the greatest gain of all: peace of mind.

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Movement

On August 28, 1963, 250,000 people from across the country descended on the Mall in Washington, D.C., to hear Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. give his famous “I Have a Dream” speech. The organizers didn’t send out 250,000 invitations and there was no Web site to check the date. How did they get a quarter of a million people to show up on the right day at the right time?

Dr. King was not the only person alive during that time who knew what had to change to bring about civil rights in America. He had many ideas about what needed to happen, but so did others. And not all of his ideas were good. He was not a perfect man; he had his complexities.

But Dr. King was absolute in his conviction. He knew change had to happen in America. His clarity of WHY, his sense of purpose, gave him the strength and energy to continue his fight against often seemingly insurmountable odds. There were others like him who shared his vision of America, but many of them gave up after too many defeats. Defeat is painful. And the ability to continue head-on, day after day, takes something more than knowing what legislation needs to be passed. For civil rights to truly take hold in the country, its organizers had to rally everyone. They may have been able to pass legislation, but they needed more than that, they needed to change a country. Only if they could rally a nation to join the cause, not because they had to, but because they wanted to, could any significant change endure. But no one person can effect lasting change alone. It would take others who believed what King believed.

The details of how to achieve civil rights or what needed to be done were debatable, and different groups tried different strategies. Violence was employed by some, appeasement by others. Regardless of how or what was being done, there was one thing everyone had in common—WHY they were doing it. It was not just Martin Luther King’s unflappable conviction that was able to stir a population, but his ability to put his WHY into words. Dr. King had a gift. He talked about what he believed. And his words had the power to inspire:

“I believe.”

“I believe.”

“I believe.”

People heard his beliefs and his words touched them deep inside. Those who believed what he believed took that cause and made it their own. And they told people what they believed. And those people told others what they believed. Some organized to get that belief out more efficiently.

And in the summer of 1963, a quarter of a million people showed up to hear Dr. King deliver his “I Have a Dream” speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.

But how many people showed up for Dr. King?

Zero.

They showed up for themselves. It was what they believed. It was what they saw as an opportunity to help America become a better version of itself. It was they who wanted to live in a country that reflected their own values and beliefs that inspired them to get on a bus to travel for eight hours to stand in the Washington sun in the middle of August to hear Dr. King speak. Being in Washington was simply one of the things they did to prove what they believed. Showing up that day was one of the WHATs to their own WHY. This was a cause and it was their cause.

*   *   *

I have been inspired by Martin Luther King and how he inspired a movement.  I have learned that a cause must be organic; if it is to have an impact it must belong to those who join the movement and not those who lead it.

Not too long ago, a student at TCU in Texas named Katie Jones started posting comments on my blog and Facebook fan page. She would often share her thoughts and offer some inspiring words. She also showed up on one of my left-sider's conference calls, where she shared her vision of the world.  Though I have never met Katie in person, I have come to appreciate her energy and her belief in the movement to inspire people to do the things that inspire them...to help reverse the statistic that 80% of people don't love what they do...to create a world in which the vast majority of people wake up everyday inspired.

And then it happened. 

Katie has taken this cause and made it her own. She started a website called liveyourwhy.com to collect stories of people who have found their Why.  Her aim is to inspire others to find and live their Why by sharing the stories of those who do.  I plan on sharing a story with her and I encourage you to also.  The more we help Katie, the more people she will inspire to find their Why.  And the more people she inspires, the more people take the cause and make it their own.  And the movement will grow and grow...and together we will change the world.

Thank you Katie...you inspire me.

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Success Takes Help

There is something to be said for being the smartest or the most talented one in the room...too bad it doesn't help much in reality.

Success, by any definition, is a team sport. I learned this little detail the hard way. There was a time in my life that I thought that if I wanted to make anything out of myself, I'd be responsible for all of it by myself. I thought I could do everything primarily because I thought I should do everything.  I needed to know how to be the boss, the accountant, the creative director, the marketing manager, the HR director, set the strategy and do the work with my clients.  Even if I hired or worked with others, I wanted to be the final say on everything. This was a brilliant strategy until three things happened.  

1. I learned I wasn't good at everything

2. I didn't have the energy to do everything

3. I failed

The human animal is a social animal and our survival and success depend on our ability to find communities of people who share our values and beliefs. When these communities form, trust emerges. It is then that the human animal will adapt from a survival instinct by self-preservation to one of working for the good of the community.  Both are designed to help the individual survive, but it is the community that has the greater chance of not only survival but success.

The book Wisdom of Crowds delves into this. Groups of people make more accurate decisions than individuals, for example.  In other words, asking for help is scientifically proven to enhance the quality of the decisions we make.

Once I hit a point where I had no choice but to ask for help, things started to dramatically change.  For one, I let go of the belief that I should do everything which meant I finally accepted that there was no way I could do everything.  The more honest I was to myself and out loud about my strengths and my weaknesses, the more people who showed up to help do the things I was not good at.

There is not a single thing I'm doing these days that is not as a direct result of someone helping me. Some showed up to do specific tasks that I'm no good at - like accounting.  Some take specific responsibility for things that I don't excel at - like developing systems. But the vast majority of the help that I've been given comes from people who have introduced me to someone they think could benefit from my message and from whom I could benefit from their platform.  In other words, mutually beneficial introductions...introductions that are good for the community.

The more willing I am to ask for help, the more I am able to help others.  I've transformed from working for myself to working for others which, ironically, has helped me grow as an individual more than I ever imagined.

Offer your strengths to others and you'll be amazed how many people offer their strengths to you.

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What Will You Sacrifice?

Someone recently sent me an email asking about what he needs to sacrifice to succeed. 

"Success," he wrote, "is said to come with great sacrifice. I'm personally trying to figure out what I can sacrifice, while identifying and pursuing specific goals.  Are there identifiable sacrifices that you attribute to your success? Or, more broadly, is there a generic schema for personal sacrifice that is consistent among leaders?"

Though it is true that life is always balanced and if you attain one thing it often comes at the sacrifice of another, the trick is not to focus on the thing you have to give up, but rather the thing you gain.

In my case, money was a sacrifice for a while - but I was happy to give up the money to be my own boss. These days it's social life - I'm not in New York much because I'm on the road a lot. Though some may perceive that I am sacrificing a lot by being away, the balance is, I get to meet so many amazing people that I otherwise would never have met.  Not to mention, the work I do is so rewarding.

In both cases, I focused on where I was going without concern to what I would have to give up.

Success comes not by trying to find something you're willing to sacrifice, but by being inspired by the thing you're pursuing.  When you are in pursuit, sacrifice doesn't feel like sacrifice...it feels like balance.

This is different from working long hours and sacrificing seeing your family or friends, for example, in hope of what will come as a result of the sacrifice. In this case, the hard work is in pursuit of a goal not yet realized. The work itself is not rewarding and the stress is high, but the rationalization is that it is all worth it for the promise (real or false) of what it will bring.  What if the promise is never realized?  Was it all worth it, then?  This really is sacrifice. When you give up something for something that does not bring immediate joy.

There is no sacrifice when the pursuit, the journey, is as rewarding if not more rewarding than the end result. And when you can wake up in the morning and feel successful whether some end goal is realized or not...THAT is true success.

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I Hate You: A Tale About Advertising, Adendum

As an addendum to the post, I Hate You: A Tale About Advertising, here is a perfect example what advertising should be like.  It is an ad produced with the consumer in mind and not the client.  It even makes fun of advertising.   It's engaging and entertaining and is not just line after line of product benefits. The best part is, it works.

This is good advertising.  In fact, I've already watched it a few times because it's entertaining...and now I'm sharing it with a larger audience. 

Think the client is happy?

I Hate You: A Tale About Advertising

What do you do if nearly every consumer hates nearly every product you produce?

This is exactly what has happened with advertising today.

Think about the lengths people go to to avoid watching ads on TV.  As soon as they come on, we lunge for the remote to change the channel.  We buy expensive DVRs that advertise the ability to skip ads AS A BENEFIT. And we willingly pay a premium for some websites or iPhone apps for which the only additional value is that the paid version is free of advertising.  How embarrassing is that? That people are paying NOT to consume your product.

The irony is, the advertising industry knows everyone hates what they produce. This is why they keep looking for new ways to force people to stay tuned. There are now ads at the beginning of online news clips or other online video content that are impossible to skip. It's infuriating.  There are ads on BlueRay DVDs now that we can't fast-forward or skip to the main menu until we've endured the pitch.

But here's a more interesting question - how did it come to pass that modern day advertising is so painful?

The reason is simple, and it has nothing to do with the rise of the internet and other technologies. The reason we hate advertising is because the ad industry has no idea who its customer is; it is we - the general public who are the final consumer of their product.  Ironic that an industry devoted to telling others who to focus on doesn't know who to focus on. Probably not so ironically, it's the same issue that stymies the music industry, the publishing industry and every other industry that seems to be struggling "to define itself" in this internet generation. They are all looking for an internet strategy when its their customer they are ignoring.

Steve Jobs recently shared his thoughts about how the entire music industry failed to innovate something like iTunes. His answer was as profound as it was simple (fancy that). The music industry, he expounds, thought their customer was Tower Records or Virgin MegaStore...but it never was.  Those were their distribution channels. The actual customer is the person who consumes the music. And it is the end user, not the intermediaries, whom Apple focuses on in all they do.

The ad industry thinks their clients are their customers. They think the companies who pay for the production are the ones they are supposed to serve.  So the ads they produce make their clients happy...but infuriate the rest of us.  So much so, that the only innovations in the industry are the new ways they find to force us to watch what we are actively trying to avoid watching. Like the music industry, the corporate marketers are the distribution channel. They pay for the production and the media to distribute the creative product. But it is the buying customer who consumes the media.

Like any other industry on the planet that has a problem with selling their product (and in the case of advertising, selling doesn't mean pay for - it means pay attention to), the first thing they do is improve the quality of their product.  In this case, that means making something people like, something people will watch without being forced.

Leave America and you'll find that the consumers in many other countries enjoy watching advertising. Not because the products are better, but because the ads are produced to be entertaining.  Sometimes they are funny. Sometimes they are dramatic.  Sometimes they are just beautiful.  But they are, on balance, produced to be more appealing for the people watching them.

Here's what I propose: the ad industry should work to improve the quality of their product to a point where people want to watch it. American companies do this once a year on the Super Bowl - the only time of the year Americans enjoy watching advertising. Why is that quality of entertainment not being produced the other 364 days? Simple - because what gets measured gets done. And the Super Bowl is the only day of the year that the quality of ads is measured based on its entertainment value.

The quality of advertising should always be measured based on how entertaining or engaging it is. They should stop measuring how many people are forced to watch (reach and frequency) and start measuring how many people choose to watch. Count how many people skip an ad versus how many opt to keep watching it. The more people that watch means you have produced better, more compelling advertising.

Producing a product for the consumers who are the ones actually consuming the product makes more business sense, too.  Clients would be able to spend less on media because the work would be more memorable.  Plus, if people CHOOSE to watch the ads, they are more likely to like the brands, products and companies featured in those ads.  In other words, if advertising was made for consumers and not clients the ultimate benefactor would actually be the client...and isn't that supposed to be the job of good advertising?

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Blinded By Your Own Product

Starbucks was founded with a clear sense of Why - that purpose, cause or belief that goes beyond the products we make or the services we offer. At its founding, it was all about the "third space," that space between work and home. When Americans chose to hang-out outside of home or work, Starbucks wanted to be that place where they hang-out.  And for many years, they were.

But, like so many companies that make it big, Starbucks forgot the reason it was founded and started to think it was their product that made them successful. Put simply, Starbucks has lost its Why.

This is significant, because it is the Why that is the source of great innovation in a company.  It is that founding purpose that gives a company a filter -  clarity about the things they should do and the things they shouldn't do.  If the filter gets fuzzy, then the ability to see clearly goes away.  And if the ability to see clearly goes away, then how will a company know if they are traveling in the right direction? Without a clear sense of direction, there is increased focus on product tactics and product strategy and the blinding effect takes hold. Unable to see beyond product will cause the results to falter.  As the results falter, the focus on the the product becomes more intense...and so the vicious cycle begins.

Starbucks was founded around the experience and the environment of their stores. Starbucks was about a space with comfortable chairs, lots of power outlets, tables and desks at which we could work and the option to spend as much time in their stores as we wanted without any pressure to buy. The coffee was incidental.

With that clear filter, it's easy to see the things Starbucks should and shouldn't do. It's easy to see opportunities to enhance the experience that have nothing to do with coffee. With a clear sense of Why, it makes perfect sense that Starbucks should offer free WiFi to their "guests." But the haze over Starbuck's filter has created product blindness and, these days, Starbucks misses the obvious; they didn't offer their guests free WiFi...McDonald's did.

In January of 2010 McDonald's, just one of the many companies that has capitalized on Starbucks fuzzy Why, started offering free WiFi in their all their stores. Feeling the pressure, Starbucks was forced to follow suit six months later.

That a burger joint credited with pioneering the fast-food industry -- an industry focused on getting customers in and out as quickly as possible -- forced Starbucks to adjust their store experience is a big deal. Just as Apple doesn't compete with any other computer companies or Harley-Davidson isn't just another motorcycle, Starbucks shouldn't be lumped in with everyone that sells coffee. But these days they are, and they have themselves to blame for it.

Starbucks has forgotten about the third space.  It has become obsessed with coffee and brushed aside Why they were selling coffee in the first place. Blinded by their own product and distracted from their founding purpose, it was Starbucks who invited lots of other players to the table and reduced their own value in the lives of Americans. We can get coffee anywhere, but not everywhere makes a good third space.  If Starbucks wants to make it about the product and not the experience, then they open themselves up to even more competition and even more attacks. At the end of the day, coffee isn't worth $4...but an experience and a comfortable environment is.

Product blindness and missing the obvious is just one symptom of a fuzzy Why. Another is when a company gets distracted by the actions of the competition. Though I haven't talked to anyone from Starbucks about this, I'll bet good money that they have become increasingly interested in what McDonald's or Dunkin' Donuts is doing these days.  Obsessing about what everyone else is doing over what you are doing is like driving down the highway watching the drivers to the left and right of you. Sure you'll be able to see how fast they are driving and in what direction...the problem is you won't see where you're going.

Companies with a clear sense of Why set the tone and direction in their respective industries. They lead and others look to follow them.  Suffering severe product blindness, however, these days Starbucks is looking for others to follow.

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Misplaced Energy

"It exploits women, it stereotypes poor people, it has gratuitous sex in it and very anti-family attitudes," said  Terry Rakolta about the FOX sitcom Married With Children. The housewife from Michigan, was so outraged by an episode of the show that mentioned lingerie and vibrators that she started a campaign in 1989 to urge advertisers to boycott the show. The national attention she received certainly put pressure on many companies.  So much pressure, in fact, that multiple CEOs of some of America's biggest companies made public statements expressing embarrassment with being associated with the program.

This is a classic case of misplaced energy. Rakolta invested so much time and effort going after Married With Children, the network and its advertisers that she missed one vital detail: TV stations and corporate brands don't raise children, parents do.  All that energy could have gone into promoting a national campaign to help parents properly raise their children; all that energy could have been invested in encouraging more parental involvement in their local PTAs. But instead, she wasted all that energy to go after something that has little to no impact on the thing she cared about: her family.

This variation of "kill the messenger" is so common. And in this day and age, the internet makes it even easier for people to mount attacks in the wrong place.

I once received an email (just was one of dozens of people cced on the email) telling me about some holocaust revisionist website.  The email urged me to pass the email on to everyone I knew to help have the site shut down. All that energy to go after the wrong thing. If they cared about revisionist history so much, why not mount a campaign to school boards? I replied to all on the email asking if they realized that the only people visiting the website were all the people receiving the email who were curious to see what all the hubbub was about. What a waste of energy.

We usually misplace our energy to avoid having to take accountability for something. It's much easier to point a finger at someone else than at ourselves. THAT takes A LOT of energy. Married With Children was on TV for 30 minutes once a week on a Sunday evening. If Rakolta was worried about how her kids were turning out, she could have used all that energy to turn off her TV once a week for half-an-hour to play a board game or something with her kids. Isn't that what good parents are supposed to do?

There is misplaced energy in all our organizations as well. When something goes wrong, we react quickly and attack a symptom instead of the cause of the symptom. It's astounding how many companies, for example, have one group that can't hold on to employees. The manager is always able to find something wrong with the last person who was fired or quit, but no one thinks to question the capability of the one who can't hold on to employees. With our economy in a shambles, we attack politicians and bankers instead of reevaluating how we spend money. Let's not forget, the housing crisis happened because most of America's home buyers were buying houses they couldn't afford. The money lenders fed off all that misplaced energy. Immoral? For sure. Did they exaggerate the problem? Absolutely! But we, the money spenders, bear some responsibility in the equation.

Like so much misplaced energy, Rakolta's campaign completely backfired. All the added publicity helped lift Married With Children's ratings high enough to keep it on air for many more seasons than originally expected.  It also allowed the network to double the price they charged to advertise on the popular program.  And only one of the original advertisers, and none of companies of the CEOs who made public statements supporting Rakolta, actually pulled their advertising from the show.  The rest took advantage of all that new found energy.

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Include The People

“Ladies and gentleman, please turn off your cell phones,” said the flight attendant. “ I can still see some that are on.  If you don’t turn them off, then we can’t leave.”

Like a defiant teenager, when we’re spoken to like that, it actually makes us want to NOT turn off our electronics.

On a plane they want to enforce the rules.  The way those in charge do it is by justifying their heavy handedness as “being good for the majority.”

If I yell at people to turn off their cell phones so that the rest of the plane can leave on time, so the thinking goes, then the rest of the passengers will appreciate it.  Sounds good in theory, but it doesn’t work.  Instead, it creates an “us and them” dynamic – the ones in the charge and the ones who do as they are told. Like prisoners and guards. 

In truth, the best way to influence people is not to push them to follow the rules, even if it is good for the majority, but to let the responsibility lie with the group.

Here’s an alternative to the original announcement:  “Ladies and gentlemen, look to the person next to you, if you see they are still using an electronic device ask them nicely to turn it off so we can get this flight underway.  Until they do, we can’t leave.”

What happened here is not just a cute way of obeying FAA regulations.  It is a very sophisticated piece of communication that takes advantage of how people decide.  Firstly, it shifts accountability to the population to look after their own well being.  In this case, the flight attendant becomes an effective leader instead of an effective enforcer.  The flight attendant leads us to take responsibility for leaving on time instead of taking responsibility for getting us to leave on time.

Now lets take that one step higher.  Airport security.

“Ladies and gentleman, take out your liquids and gels,” we’re told. “It’s for your own safety.” If it’s for my own safety then include me in the process. Here’s the alternative:

“Ladies and gentlemen, as you remove your liquids and gels from your own bag, please watch the person to the left and to the right of you to make sure they do the same.  We wish we could watch over everyone, but we can’t, so we need your help.  If you help us, not only will we get you through here quicker, it will also help improve the quality of the security we aim to provide.”

Telling someone “it’s for your own good” does no good.  That is a rational assessment of what should be an emotional engagement.  We want people vested in their own security.  We want people vested in their own well being.  People don’t want to be managed, they want to be involved.

This is the difference between leading and enforcing.  In both scenarios, obeying the rules will be good for the group.  But only when someone in authority leads will they find the people on their side.  And when the health of the group is at stake, you always want the people on your side.  This is true on an airplane, at the airport and in an organization.

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Spot The Northwest Flight Attendant

 I flew to London and back on Delta Airlines, which was great because I got to play my new favorite game: spot the old Northwest Flight Crew.  Northwest and Delta merged last year to form America’s largest airline. Though the planes are now painted the same and the crews all wear the same uniforms, they do not all act the same way. The cultures of the two companies, more specifically how management treated their people, significantly impacted how their people treat their customers.  So much so, you can tell from which company a flight crew came from simply by observing how they treat customers.

The rules are pretty basic; when you fly Delta Airlines, try to guess if your crew is native Delta or ex-Northwest. The game goes beyond just a couple of bad eggs – those employees who, no matter what the corporate environment is like, will always do the wrong thing.  This game is about identifying a common pattern or theme among a group of employees that provides clues as to how they have been managed or treated in the past.

I admit, it’s a pretty easy game. Northwest must have treated its people so badly for so many years for the difference between the two crews to be so stark. Here are some pointers to help you should you ever decide to play:

Impatience: Ex-Northwest employees have no patience for customers. They can regularly be seen rolling their eyes when passengers ask for anything or perform even the slightest infraction of any rule or command. The native Delta crews, in contrast, are more likely to smile if a passenger asks for anything and show a little more patience.

Hate Thy Customer: The ol’ Northwesters can often be heard in the galleys complaining about a passenger or two (this among other things they can find to complain about). If someone who has a customer-facing job seems to have such contempt for customers, think about how that will impact their behavior towards the customer. In contrast, you may stumble upon a conversation of Delta folks gossiping about their personal lives or figuring out how to solve some issue that was raised on the flight.

Short Fuse: The grumps from Northwest are all on short fuses. It takes barely a squeak from a passenger for a flight attendant to berate that customer. Public shaming of a passenger over the intercom is also a favorite. I find Delta natives to have much more patience for those with whom they are charged to look after and will often address specific customers directly should they need to.

Pass the Buck: Despite the ease of this game, you’ll be hard pressed to find a Northwest crew who accept accountability for how they act. Northwest employees, you see, don’t like to take any responsibility for anything that happens.  If they are abusive, impatient or generally unhappy, they will justify anything they have done by passing the buck.  “It’s not our fault. If we don’t do it that way,” they rationalize, “we’ll get in trouble.”

There is a side of me that feels sorry for the old Northwest people.  Like abused dogs who become unfit to have as pets, so too have many Northwest employees been so abused over the years, it is actually left many of them unfit for to work with people anymore. Like any person on the receiving end of an abusive relationship, they have completely lost trust in management to help them in anyway.  They hang all their hopes on their union to protect them even though, with their union, they received lower pay and poorer benefits than the non-unionized Delta flight attendants. The mistrust runs so deep, that they will work to preserve their unions for fear of what would happen if Delta management had direct influence over their jobs even though Delta crews like their jobs…and their management much better.  In this humble passenger’s opinion, if management has the option, axing some of the most abusive staff may not be such a bad thing for all involved.

The point is, corporate culture matters.  How management chooses to treat its people impacts everything - for better or for worse. Gordon Bethune, the former CEO of Continental Airlines, was able to transform Continental Airlines from the worst airline in the industry into the one of the highest rated without changing the equipment or the people. He did it by focusing not on the customer, but on the employees.  He managed the culture and worked to empower his employees.  He showed them that keeping a plane clean serves their interests more than the passengers.  The passengers leave the planes, the flight attendants often have to stay and fly one, two or more legs on the same aircraft.  The same goes for helping people or being nice to them.  It makes for a better day at work when you treat people well.  Well-treated customers are also nicer to be around.

On a recent cross-country trip, I met a Delta flight attendant who plays a similar game to me.  It’s called Spot the ex-Northwest Elite Passenger.  She told me she can tell if a passenger used to fly Northwest based on how the passenger treats the crew.  Apparently, the abused Northwest employees abused their customers for so long that the customers also became combative and mean. Sadly, they tell me, it’s a really easy game to play for them also.

The moral of the story: corporate culture matters. A sour corporate culture can actually make an entire society unhappy. This means that a strong corporate culture can have a positive impact on a society.  So for the good of the planet - treat your employees well.

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How To Listen

There is a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak. Just because someone can hear, doesn’t mean they are listening or that they know how to listen. My grandfather would sit on the couch and watch a cricket match on TV, catch every word from the commentator’s mouth, but wouldn’t “hear” my grandmother when she called from the other room. Oh, he could hear her alright… he just wasn’t listening.

Listening is active. At its most basic level, it’s about focus, paying attention. When a teenager seems to be staring out the window when being spoken to, a parent or teacher will ask: “Are you listening to me?” What the parent or teacher really means is: “Are you paying attention?”

At its most effective level, however, listening goes far beyond simply paying attention. Becoming a “good listener” is a skill that requires practice. At this level, listening means trying to find meaning in what you hear. It is not simply about concentrating on what is being said to you; it is the active pursuit of understanding.

Good listeners have a huge advantage. For one, when they engage in conversation, they make people “feel” heard. The people with whom they are speaking“feel” that someone really understands their wants, needs and desires. And for good reason; a good listener really does care to understand.

A good listener must be good at asking questions. It is near impossible to perfectly understand what someone truly wants or needs on the first go, not because they are not being clear (though that may sometimes be the case), but because very often people don’t express their real needs.

For example, an employee demands more money for their job because they feel they are underpaid for the work they are doing. Someone who knows how to listen won’t simply hear them, they will want to understand the root of their feelings.  They will want to ask questions. A good listener will want to understand the reason they feel unappreciated.

With the right questions, it will be revealed that it is the job itself, not the money that is the cause of the disgruntlement. They feel that they are struggling because they don’t have the skill set to handle the responsibility they are given, for example. It is training that they need. Simply paying them more will address the symptom, but only when additional tools or training are provided will the employee feel looked after in the future. And only then will their true value to the organization be fully realized.

Here are some tips to practice to become a good listener:

1. Work to understand: Consciously work to understand the reason someone is telling what they are telling you. Don’t assume what they say and what they mean are the same. And don’t assume that the solutions they offer will fix the issue.
2. Ask specific questions: Don’t simply ask, “What do you mean by that?” after every statement someone makes. That’s frustrating for the person talking to you and it still relies on them to find the right words. Ask questions specific to the things they say. For example, if someone says, “I want to be a doctor,” instead of asking why they want to be a doctor, ask them what kind of doctor they want to be. When they answer, ask them what it is about that specialty that interests them. Very quickly you will get a much clearer picture of the kind of person this is and what their strengths are just from listening closely and asking pointed questions.
3. Restate what has been stated: Practice saying, “Let me see if I understand” to someone, then restate what you think they mean in your own words. They will either agree or disagree with you. More importantly, they will feel heard and you will work together to find clarity and common understanding.

The great people managers, those that seem to have a pulse on their people, may have an innate sense of what’s going on in the world or a Magic 8-Ball that tells them the answers. But it’s more likely that they know how to listen. The same goes for innovation or customer service. The companies that know how to listen are the ones that develop products and serve people based on their ACTUAL wants, needs and desires and just what they say in market research.

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The Journey

I flew from Vancouver to Los Angeles on Alaska Airlines today. The plane was old. The seats were shabby and the crew did the minimum that was required to be considered "service." All in all it was a great flight.

I'm not being sarcastic.  It was a great flight. And the reason was because of the captain.

Once we were up in the air, he came on and started telling us what we could see out the windows.  "On the left side of the plane," he said, "you'll get a great view of Mt. Rainier."  Then he went on to tell us a bit about Mt. Rainier.  About 30 minutes later the captain came on again.  This time telling us about the Oregon River.  Later he told us about some lake that formed from a crater.  Each time he pointed things out, he would tell us a little something about it.  It was wonderful.

The plane was still old.  The seats were still shabby. The food was still bland, but the experience was really enjoyable. He transformed the experience of taking the bus, which is what air travel has become today, into a tour across the country.

I know it’s not an Alaska Airlines “thing,” it was just one chatty captain. But I hope airlines see the value of creating an experience and adopt this and other ways to enhance the time we spend on the plane.

It's not just airlines that can learn from this, it's anyone who serves someone they would call a customer or a client.  What matters more than all the stuff we throw at our customers is the journey we take them on to get that stuff. 

We expect a coffee shop to sell us coffee, for example. We take them from A to B, but it’s what happens on the way from A to B that matters more to creating loyalty.  We can get product B from any number of companies – but it's the journey that different companies take you on that makes the difference. You come into the coffee shop only wanting coffee, just like I took the flight just to get to where I needed to go.  But how the employee (and hopefully the company), decided to get me there made me want more.  The best part is, I completely ignored the shabby seats and old plane after that.

Take people on a memorable journey, and they won't notice the mistakes you make or the things you get wrong.  Ignore the journey and all they will notice is the mistakes you make and the things you get wrong.

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The Beauty of Life

We get preoccupied with the daily grind.  We think our problems are bad. We lose perspective. It's good, now and then, just to be reminded how beautiful life is and how small our problems really are.  And by beautiful, I don't mean puppies and rainbows - I mean the value of life.  When we see someone escape death, there is no other way to describe that experience than beautiful.

I can't watch this without crying.  It is...beautiful. 

The Final Score Doesn't Matter

The fans watching the game in a local sports bar in New York went wild. They cheered and celebrated.  They couldn't believe their team had done it. This was possibly one of the great upsets in sports.

An ocean away, fans watching in a pub in London were devastated. How could this have happened? Their team should have won.

And so it was. The final score recorded into history to mark this occasion. 1:1.  That's right, the final score was 1:1 - the US soccer team had tied the British team in the first round of 2010 World Cup. The Americans celebrated the win. The Brits mourned the loss.  But the last time I checked, 1:1 was a tie. There was no winner and there was no loser.  Or was there?

The final score, as it turns out, does not exist in a vacuum. A score may be an objective measurement of achievement, but its value is a relative measurement to our expectations.  An "A" student who gets a B, for example, feels disappointment.  A "C" student who gets a B feels ecstatic.  Their objective achievement is the same, but their feelings toward their grade, the value of their grade to them, is relative to the expectations others had for them.

This is what happened in the World Cup game. The British were the A students and the Americans were the C students.  And in this case - the Americans were able to match the might of the British.  It was, in relative terms, a win.

The definition of "winning," then, includes a subjective element - when what we actually achieve surpasses the expectations others think we could achieve. The American team believed they could match the British, even if everyone else thought they couldn't. Had the American team bought into the expectations others had for them, then their loss would have been inevitable because they would have played believing they had to lose.

Expectations are different from hopes or desires. Expectations are a calculation. They come from the evaluation of data - the British team was much better.  They had won more games. Their players were objectively better and so on.  Even if American fans hoped their team would win, based on the data, they didn't THINK they could win. 

This is what makes the underdog so appealing. What the underdog BELIEVES they can do goes beyond what others THINK they can do. Though we root for the underdog, we still expect them to lose. It's rational.  This is why belief in oneself, confidence, is so important.  The innovator believes something can be done when others think it can't.  The entrepreneur believes a solution exists for a problem others think unsolvable (if they even recognize the problem in the first place). And this is why optimists are the most important people of all. They believe every one of us can achieve more than we even we think we can.  They push us and they inspire us. They are able to convert our rational assessment of our abilities (thinking) into drive and passion (belief).

The American coach inspired his team to believe they could do something others thought they couldn't . All great leaders do.  They fundamentally believe in people and what they can do.

As for the lesson - if you're doing things that everyone around you thinks you can achieve and all the evidence would support their thoughts, then you're not pushing yourself hard enough. That doesn't mean working towards some ridiculous goal that even you don't believe is possible.  Rational achievement happens based on the score. The feeling of achievement, however, comes when you work to the limit of your own beliefs and if that limit goes beyond what others think you can do you will feel like you won...even if you only achieve partial success. Even if you only tie the game, those who didn't think you could do it will start to believe in you, too.  And when people believe in you, they will rally for you, support you, send resources your way, introduce you to people and help pave the way for you to succeed. And that's when objective success is easier to achieve. Though the facts may remain the same, they will support you for no other reason than they now believe in you and think you can do it, too.

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Lead From The Front and The Back

On a recent visit to Ramstein Air Force Base in Germany, I had the great honor of meeting some of the wounded warriors coming back from Afghanistan and Iraq.  They are brought through Germany for treatment and are then taken back to the US for further help.

On this day, there were about 20 wounded warriors, in varying degrees of severity, heading back home.  Eighteen of them were in the Army and two of them were Marines. 

It was freezing outside as I, and a few other staff, stood waiting by the buses that would transport them to the C-17 cargo planes that would fly them back home. I happened to be standing next to a Marine officer, with whom I made small talk.  The door opened and a line of young men and women came out of the building, some on them on their own two feet, some carried on stretchers.  The Marine and I kept talking as they filed past.  That was until one young wounded Marine approached.  As he walked past us, the Marine officer stepped forwards, put his hand on the young Marine’s shoulder and thanked him.  He also told the young Marine that he was here with him for the whole trip and repeated the sentiment for the other young Marine who followed behind.  He then stepped back in line and continued to talk to me.

An essential component of inspiring people to be a part of an organization greater than themselves is that you look after your own. Strangely, there was no one there from the Army.  But the Marines had taken two officers out of theater for the sole purpose to escort these two wounded comrades from the front lines back to the United States. That was their entire responsibility.

The strength of an organization is easily measured by the steps it takes to look after its own.  To what lengths does a company go to show its people that they matter?  An organization that shows commitment to its people can expect its people to show commitment to them.

Yes leadership is about leading, standing out front.  Yes leadership is about painting a picture, a vision of the future that does not yet exist.  Yes leadership is about being a beacon for people to follow.  But great leadership is about turning back to those that you would want to follow you on your quest to thank them, personally, for being a part of what you are, together, trying to build. The US Marine Corps does not have an amazing culture simply because of what they do out front, it’s also what they do at the back that matters. Semper fidelis, as their motto goes. Always faithful.

I urge anyone who aspires to lead to see the movie Taking Chance and you’ll see what I mean.

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The Honesty Test

“Have you finished that report I need?” my boss asked me.

“I’m nearly done with it. I’ll give it to you by end of day tomorrow,” I replied.

The report wasn’t late and he would indeed get it by the end of the following day. The problem was that I wasn’t being honest. I said I was nearly done, when in fact I’d barely started.

It was just a harmless little white lie that came out almost like a reflex, like an involuntary response. I didn’t say it to mislead my boss; I said it so I wouldn’t look like a fool in front of him. It was self-preservation. There’s no harm in that… is there?

Being honest is tougher to do than most people think. With no intention of misleading people, we tell little white lies nearly every day. Sometimes we tell a little fib to protect ourselves, like the example above, and sometimes we do it to be polite or to avoid offending someone. For example, your friend comes up to you at his wedding and asks: “Isn’t this the best wedding ever?” In reality, the food was bland, the band sucked and there was construction going on next door. But we still say: “Yes! It’s excellent.” Which, by any standard, is a complete lie.

The people in the world who make a real impact are always completely honest -- always. People may disagree with them, they may not be liked, but they are always respected for telling the truth. Simon Cowell, for example, is the only honest voice on American Idol. What he lacks is social grace. Love him or hate him, we respect him for his honesty.

Take this test: For the next 48 hours try being honest 100% of the time. If you find yourself in a position in which you may offend someone with the truth, then answer a different question. For example, if you find yourself at a bad wedding and you’re asked if you’re enjoying it, respond with one thing you did enjoy. “It was so special to see you finally get married,” for example.

I took the test and the impact of being honest surprised me. I had a meeting with a senior staffer for a highly regarded member of congress and she asked me a pointed question: “Did you do any research on the congressman before this meeting?” Had I not taken the pledge to tell no lies, I would have replied “a little,” to not look like a complete buffoon. Instead, I replied honestly: “I didn’t.” No excuses, just the honest answer. At which point she said: “OK, so let me give you some background then.”

Her question wasn’t meant to test me. She asked so she could establish a baseline for how much I knew. Because I was being honest with her, she told me everything I needed to know, which she wouldn’t have done had I told a little harmless lie. Being honest helped me.

Take the honesty test for the next 48 hours and tell me what happened in the comments...and don't lie.

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The Best Leaders Teach Others To Lead

"There's nothing you can screw up that I can't help fix," she was often heard telling her students at Air Force Fighter Weapons School (the Air Force equivalent of Top Gun). And it is this philosophy that makes Lori Robinson a great leader.   She understands she's only as good as those she leads.

When a leader spends more time reprimanding people for making mistakes, they will quickly create a culture in which people will fear making mistakes.  Innovation and productivity suffer because the team will play not to lose instead of playing to win.

Worse, few if any will want to take personal accountability for their actions. They will point fingers or come up with excuses. And if people don't own their own decisions and actions then they will never feel a part of something bigger than themselves. They will rarely go out of their way to help their colleagues, the group or the company.

That's not the case for those who General Robinson commands. She is renowned for working to clear a path for others so that they may succeed.  She has earned remarkable loyalty from those who have ever served her. In fact, those who have served under her have gone on to have remarkable careers of their own.  And it is this that makes Lori Robinson a brilliant leader.  She does all she can to serve those who serve her.

Click to download the excerpt about Lori Robinson in Start With Why

How Many Days Do You Have Left To Live?

Imagine running in a race that you that didn't know where the finish line was.  You'd be running without knowing how long you have to run.  It wouldn't be easy.  You wouldn't know how to pace yourself.  And at some points, you'd feel like you're going to be running forever.

This is how we live our lives. 

When we give our age, we count the number of years we've been alive. That's like saying, "I've been running for 5 miles," without knowing how much longer you have to run.  This makes it difficult to pace ourselves and makes it hard to feel that every step in the race is heading to anything meaningful.  Intellectually, we know we can't run forever, but that doesn't change the fact that we don't know where the finish line is. 

Some people who suffer from a terminal illness have a sense of urgency to do something fulfilling before it's too late. They set out to complete their bucket list because they know when the end is. Some even seem to have an incredible appreciation for everyday they have left.  It would be great if we all lived everyday as if it were our last, but we know it's probably not, so we don't.

Some people suffer a midlife crisis when they get to the point when they are closer to the day they will die than they day they were born. The realization that the finish line is closer than the start line causes some to try to reclaim their youth, to feel like they did when they set out on the race before they get too tired...before they "miss their chance."

All these issues have nothing to do with appreciation for life or motivation or anything like that.  It all stems from not knowing where the finish line is. Ironically, we do have a sense where the finish line is.  I know, for example, that statistically I will kick the proverbial bucket at around 75 years old.  I hope to be a productive member of society until 70. That gives me 34 years to do all I want to do and make a mark in the world. If I live longer, great, but I'd be living on borrowed time. I have 1,751 weeks to do all the things I want to do and make a mark in the world.  The goal is to make every one of those weeks worth something.

I heard a story of a man who set up two fishbowls and filled one with a marble for every week he has left to live.  At the end of each week, if he did something that he felt was worth something, he took one marble out of one fish bowl and put it in the other.  If he didn't do anything of value, he threw the marble away.  That's a pretty stark reminder. You actually have to throw the marble away - a week wasted. A week you'll never get back.  The standard of what constitutes doing something of value is your own. It's a feeling.  Maybe it's helping your kid with their homework. Maybe it's helping someone across the street.  Maybe it's quitting the job you hate to go do something you love. Or maybe it's just sharing an idea that will inspire others to love every week they have left.

By reminding myself that this is the 34th year left until I reach the finish line, I feel a sense of empowerment much stronger than when I tell people I've been puttering around for 36 years. 

Lets all order marbles and fish bowls and make every step, every week, count.  Lets do what we need to do to leave this world in a better state than we found it before we run out of steam.

Download a PDF of this blog post...before it's too late!

The Visionary's Dilemma

"Let me tell you about my vision. It's all about the convergence of technology. We're developing applications that combine any portable device with a desktop computer. Now the nightwatchman can become a world famous recording artist.  What we're doing is better than YouTube and better than anyone else out there. It's revolutionary!!!"

What you just read is how a visionary mind described his revolution to me...at least what I could understand of it.  And that's the problem...

Visionaries can see a world that doesn't exist. This is the reason we call them visionary - because they can see into the future.  They can imagine products or services not yet invented. They can envision a way of living different to the way we live now.  Yet they can't always get it out in a way that anyone can understand. It's no surprise most people think so many visionaries are crazy - just listen to what comes out of their mouths.  And they always include some coup de grace like how much better their idea is compared to an accepted standard,  refer to a huge multi-billion dollar corporation as "idiots" or say something to do with changing the world.  

And I'm sure they could change the world or take down the largest of corporations...if anyone could understand a thing they were saying.

This is the visionary's dilemma.

A vision, no matter how brilliant, will only ever see the light of day if others, those less visionary, are able to also see the potential.  It is a person's ability to paint a picture of something that doesn't exist in words so clear that others can clearly picture it themselves without any confusion or uncertainty that matters most.  It is at that point that an idea can inspire people to act. To share the idea and to help bring it to reality.

There is a simple formula to explain one's vision in words that can be clearly understood by more than the visionary themselves. No matter the what the vision is, no matter how simple or how complicated the technology, always communicate so that a scientist AND a truck driver could understand you equally (note: if you communicate as if you're a scientist, a truck driver won't understand you, but if you communicate as if you're a truck driver, everyone will understand you).

1. Words that require thinking should be avoided, words like "convergence," for example. When someone says that in a sentence, I have to furl my brow and really pay attention.

2. Explain why it matters, not what you're doing. Who cares if you're  "developing applications for mobile devices...blah blah blah," why should I care?

3. And most importantly, always, always speak as if you're describing an image.  A picture.  A scene.

If I were to rewrite the original vision based on these simple steps, it would sound more like this:

"I imagine a world in which a couple interested in building a house could take a picture with their phone of a house they like and immediately submit the image to have blueprints drawn up and have architects bid to build that house before they picked up the kids from school.

I imagine a world in which a nightwatchman could use nothing more than his cell phone to record a song he wrote, while at work, with perfect studio quality and post it for the world to hear before he goes home at the end of his shift. 

I imagine a world in which our cell phones and our desktop computers become so blurred, that everything you can do with your home computer...I mean everything...you could do with your phone. This is the world that I imagine and I am building. If you can see the impact of what I'm talking about, join me and lets build it together."

Big difference, right? No big words.  I spoke in images not explanations.  I described the final images and not the shades of paint that make up those images.  And, after all, it is why you have your vision, not how you intend to create it, that inspires.

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Spend More Time In The Shower

Most organizations schedule time for creativity. Call it a brainstorming seesion or an off-site or any other clever title you want to give it - the concept is the same - it's a time in the calendar to be creative, to think outside the box, come up with innovative solutions or generate ideas.  The problem is, you can't schedule creativity. 

When we "sit down to think," we engage our rational brains. This is the part of the brain we use to weigh the pros and cons or engage our "expertise." But consider how many problems or ideas we have in the shower, in the car heading to work, lying in bed or any other place that we're certainly not consciously trying to solve any problems.  That's because our subconscious brains - our limbic "feeling" brains - have access to vastly more information than our conscious "thinking" brains. Monumental amounts more, in fact.  Our rational brains can access the equivalent of about 2 feet of information around us.  Our subconscious brains can access the equivalent of 11 acres of information around us. Every experience, every lesson, every mistake, every success is all stored away and your brain has the capacity to access that information, even though you're not conscious of it.

This is what gut decisions are - this is why we say they "feel" right.  Because the feeling part of our brain is digging deep into our past to help guide our decisions. This is the reason experiences matter. The more experiences you have, the more data your limbic brain has to access, which will help generate ideas or solve problems.

When we take showers or go for a drive (or paint or run or wherever you allow your mind to wander), it continues trying to solve the issues we face in our lives at the time.  It accesses all our past experiences to help us see things our conscious brains can not.

This is the reason, when you visit an office filled with "creative" people, they have video games, pin ball machines, toys and all sorts of other distractions.  Things that stop them from thinking...things to help "inspire" them.

I used to be one of those people who likes to take a quick shower in the morning and get on with my day. But not anymore.  About 6 months ago, I realized that when I took longer showers, I would have about 2-3 really good ideas while in there.  So now I take long showers every morning and just listen to the water. I don't concentrate on anything, I don't try to think of anything specific, I don't spend more time washing.  I just stand under the water and let my mind wander.  I now get about 2-3 really good ideas every morning (then I have to repeat them to myself out loud over and over while drying then run and take notes before I forget them).

Find the place your mind wanders, the place you solve problems or have ideas and spend more time there.  If your morning commute is when you have all your ideas, for example, then, from time to time, just go for a drive without having a destination and just enjoy the drive.  Let your mind wander.

If your team has a big problem to solve or you need big ideas from them, don't lock them in a room to figure it out - let them go for a walk, wander around a museum together, listen to music. Play games, throw a ball around, read children's books.  Let a mind wander and you'll be amazed at what it discovers.

If you haven't already seen the video of Birds on a Wire, click here to see what you can create if you let your mind wonder.

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Acting Tough Doesn't Make You A Great Leader

Notoriously outspoken, his sentences always punctuated with profanities, General George S. Patton was the epitome of what a leader should be like -- or so he thought. Patton believed a leader should look and act tough, so he cultivated his image and his personality to match his philosophy. He always wore a polished helmet, a chest full of medals and his famous ivory-handled pistols on his sides. The problem is that leadership has nothing to do with looking or acting tough -- quite the opposite, in fact. 

Without question, George S. Patton was a great commander, the right man for the times and exactly what America needed in its fight against the Nazis. Though he was well respected, he didn’t command the same kind of loyalty and admiration as his boss, General Dwight Eisenhower. Eisenhower was the opposite of Patton: no bluster, no bravado. In fact, Eisenhower was famous for his self-deprecating sense of humor, something Patton hated. He never made fun of himself and he hated when others made fun of him; he thought it detracted from how he would be perceived as a leader. Ironic, considering he took great joy in publicly mocking others, even other generals.

George S. Patton’s toughness returned to haunt him in the now-infamous incident in the latter part of the war. He visited a hospital to thank wounded soldiers and came across one solider recovering from battle fatigue, the short-term version of PTSD. Seeing no physical wounds, Patton became enraged; thinking the soldier was a coward, he slapped him. The incident cost him dearly. He lost the chance to command any part of the D-Day invasion and was instead relegated to command a decoy operation.

Great leaders don’t need to act tough. Their confidence and humility serve to underscore their toughness. Mistreating, berating or humiliating people may serve to get them to act the way you want them to, but it does not build loyalty. Such bravado -- be it real or faked -- does not increase innovation, either. Innovation inherently requires risk and people will only take risks if they feel their leader is looking out for them.

If you’re in a position of leadership or aspire to lead, see if you can command loyalty without commanding. Ask questions instead of barking orders. Show you’re human by admitting mistakes or making fun of your own shortcomings instead of lambasting those who point them out for you. Most of all, surround yourself with people smarter and stronger than you instead of trying to be the smartest or strongest.

Tough leaders may be effective in the short term, but they rarely, if ever, become great leaders. Patton’s leadership style was memorialized in a Hollywood movie with George C. Scott. Eisenhower’s leadership style was memorialized by history. He went on to become president of the United States.

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Encourage People To Be Better At What They Are Already Good

A freshman athlete in the local high school is a natural at baseball. He has an amazing swing, lightning fast reflexes and he plays well as part of a team. But there’s a bit of an issue -- he’s not a very strong swimmer. He doesn’t enjoy the solitary nature of the sport; it’s just him and the water. His turns are slow and his stroke is sloppy. He’s decent enough, but he will have to train very, very hard if he’s going to be a real competitor.

Why is his swimming ability a problem, you ask? While in high school, he’s hoping to improve as an athlete so he can earn a scholarship for college. What should he do? More importantly, what should his coaches do?

It’s so obvious; it’s almost a ridiculous scenario. The young athlete should focus on strength building. His coaches know they can more easily make a star baseball player out of him, so they will encourage him to quit swimming and focus all his time and energy on baseball. 

It’s so obvious, yet for some reason, we do the opposite at work.

Formal or informal, when our companies give us our performance reviews, they point out our “areas for improvement” (the politically correct way of saying, the things you suck at), then they offer us a development plan to get better at those things. In other words -- if you keep swimming, you’ll get better at it.

We can’t all be good at everything. This is partly the logic behind having a team in the first place, so each role can be filled with the person best suited for that role and together, every job and every strength is covered.

Smart companies are the ones that identify someone’s natural talent and help them become even better at it. The result is a highly motivated employee who feels like the company is really looking after his or her career. In return, they will reward the company with superior performance (partly because they're already good at what they're doing) and because they wants to do right by the company that is doing right by them.

If you want to lead, focus on your own areas of leadership. If you’re a great motivator, then motivate. If you’re a great manager, then manage. If you’re a great organizer, then help others stay organized. If you’re a visionary, then talk about the things you can see. Identify your own strength, build on it and surround yourself with people who are brilliant at all the things you’re not. What you’re left with is a team worth leading.

This article originally appeared in my  Logistics of Leadership column at askmen.com

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Cats and Dogs or Do You Know Your Mission From Your Vision?

What's the difference between a cat and a dog?

We know they are similar in many respects. For example, they are both mammals, they are both common pets, they are both furry and they both have four legs and a tail. But without getting into the biology, the differences are harder to explain. We know they are different, very different, it's just hard to put into words.  Unlike when we explain the similarities, when we explain the differences we start to describe their personalities more and the superficial differences less.  For example, cats tend to look after themselves more and dogs need more attention. Cats act cool. Dogs are more excitable.

The same is true of mission statements and vision statements.  It's easy to describe how they are similar - it's mostly superficial description.  For example - they are both statements intended to give the people in an organization a sense of purpose or direction. Now explain the differences.

And that's the problem. For some, their definition of a vision is the same definition someone else gives for a mission.  And which is supposed to come first - that's a whole debate unto itself.  Because we we share a common definition of a cat and a dog - any mention of either means we all understand the reference.  But because mission and vision lack common definitions, it's impossible to have a discussion about them...or even say what one is.

This is the reason I rarely if ever use either term - because I can't be sure everyone will know what I'm talking about.  And the first rule of communication is that what people think you mean is what you intended to mean.  Without that, all you have is miscommunication...and that's exactly what most vision and mission statements produce. That's the reason they are generally useless in most organizations. 

To describe the purpose or cause of an organization, I call it the WHY - something with a common definition that we can all agree on.  And to describe the steps an organization will take to make its WHY a reality - those are called the HOWs.  Easy to understand.

If we want to be strict, a vision is the public statement an organization uses to describe its WHY. It should have nothing to do with what the organization does, the products it produces or the services it offers.  It should have no comparative language like better or best.  It shouldn't be about the organization at all, in fact.  It should be about the world those in the organization imagine. The world they want to build.  That's the reason it's called a vision - it's something you can see - something far away that does not exist yet.  "What's your vision?" means tell me what the world looks like if everything goes your way.

Strictly speaking, the mission is HOW you intend to get there. That's where the rubber meets the road.  That's the point at which you can talk about your strategies or your process or your differentiating value proposition.  The mission, like in the military, is literally the task you're undertaking to advance some greater cause.  The mission advances the vision.

If we use the terms WHY and HOW instead of vision and mission, clarity goes up and no one will fight like cats and dogs anymore...if you know what I mean.

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I Lost My Faith

It was a perfect day. Not a cloud in the sky. It was unseasonably warm considering it's still spring. The sun was shining and everyone was in a good mood.

I was running late for a meeting and was walking more briskly than usual to catch the subway. As I stood on the corner of 86th street and 2nd avenue waiting for the light to change, I saw a crowd gathered across the street. An old man had apparently fallen and was having a hard time getting back up. His cane was on the ground and his bag of medications was also laying there. He was on his hands and knees struggling...but not one of the 15 or so people standing around was helping him.

One girl stood over him, as if to offer emotional support by cheering him on.  But she didn't help him. Others pulled out their cell phones offering to call an ambulance. "I think I should call an ambulance," one man kept saying. "I think we should call an ambulance," he repeated while looking to others for permission to act.

Yet no one bent down to help him up.

I crossed the street, knelt down, put the package I had under my arm down on the asphalt, leaned in and asked the man if he was hurt.

"No," he replied, "I'm just having trouble getting back up."

I asked again to be sure. "Everything feel ok?"

"I'll be bruised from the fall," he confirmed, "but I'm ok."

So I put my arm under his and helped him up. I beckoned to the cheerleader to help me. She took his other arm and together we pulled the man to his feet.  We held him while he steadied himself and I reassured him that I wouldn't let go until he had his balance back. The cheerleader picked up the cane and handed it to him. Another women stepped forward and pointed to the pharmacy bag on the street saying in a near shrill, "that's his bag!" Yet she didn't bend down to pick it up.  I snapped at her, "don't point at it, pick it up." She didn't, but someone else did.

Shaken but ok, the man regained his balance. He took his bag, and started to shuffle away.  I asked him one last time, "are you ok?"  "Yes," he replied, and continued on.

I picked up my package and carried on with my day.  But my day was no longer a normal day. The sun was shining, yes, but I wasn't happy. Now more than a block away from the scene, I was still muttering obscenities meant for the crowd under my breath. I couldn't believe what I witnessed. My eyes welled up. I felt ashamed.  I felt sad. I know we blame selfishness and a lack of a sense for the greater good as reasons behind the weakness in banking and our economic troubles.  I know we think that food corporations think more about themselves than they do about others when they decide to put partially hydrogenated oils and high fructose corn syrup in our foods. But has that sentiment really boiled down to the general population?  Are the bankers and the food corporations simply reflecting what the rest of us have become?  Forget about helping, have we REALLY all lost our compassion for each other? Is our humanity shot to a point that we can't even kneel down to ask an old man if he is ok?

I am an optimist, but on this day my faith was shaken.  

But...I am still an optimist. Yes, something is horribly wrong.  Yes, the world we live in is not yet the world I want to live in.  But I am an optimist and I can still clearly imagine that world.  Though my faith was shaken on this day, it is not broken.  We must stop at nothing to find those who will help us turn the tide. We must not shout at those with whom we disagree.  We must not point fingers and cast blame. We must not throw stones.  Instead, we must become what we imagine.  We must work together to inspire each other and inspire those around us.  We must take it upon ourselves to build the companies that genuinely care about their employees, truly care about their customers and consider the greater good before making decisions.  We must run for office and be the kind of politicians that inspire communities for the good of the country instead of manipulating communities for the good of a political career.

And most importantly, we must reshape our world so that when an old man falls on the street, any one of us would bend down to help him up.

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Learn Leadership By Riding the Subway

It turns out you can learn a lot about leadership by riding the subway. The subway systems in London and New York, for example, have a lot in common: both serve the largest cities in their respective countries; both systems are over 100 years old; both are shining examples of an effective, modern public transportation system — but only one of them acts like a leader.

When a train stops in New York, an announcement will come on apologizing “for the unavoidable delay.” The recorded message will continue to urge passengers to “please be patient, we will be moving momentarily.” If the delay continues, the same recorded message will repeat again and again until the train finally moves.

It’s very different in London. When an Underground train stops, a human being comes on over the PA system and tells you what he knows. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he may say, “sorry for the delay. I’ve just been given word that someone has fallen on the tracks at the station ahead. We know that the paramedics are on their way but they are not there yet. Unfortunately, we’ll have to wait here until they arrive and clear the track. I’ll keep you updated on any information as I get it. Thank you for your patience.”

Both apologize for the delay and both thank passengers for their patience, but only aboard the London Underground are passengers given the reason for the delay. Only the Tube is sharing information with the people in a normal way — and it makes a huge difference.

More information is always better than less. When people know the reason things are happening, even if it’s bad news, they can adjust their expectations and react accordingly. Keeping people in the dark only serves to stir negative emotions. In New York, almost immediately, passengers start looking at their watches and muttering unsavory language under their breath. Some do it out loud. Some people start to get anxious. What if it’s a bomb? What if we’re stuck here all day? What are we going to do? Without any information, people create their own. And that’s what causes fear, paranoia and anger.

In London, the passengers may be frustrated by the delay, but they don’t react the same way. They are more relaxed and they deal with the situation with much less stress.

Sharing information is what a good leader does, even if he doesn’t know the whole story. Share the context for the situation people find themselves in, and the reaction of your colleagues will be very different than if you don’t. Keep people in the dark and they’ll see you as the enemy. Keep them abreast of what you know and they will see you in the same predicament as themselves. This creates camaraderie. More importantly, if they know more, they are more likely to help fix or alleviate the situation and get things done — all because you took the time to make a short, honest announcement.

This article originally appeared in my Logistics of Leadership column at askmen.com

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How Do You Clean Lettuce?

If you want to work in the kitchen of the Refectory, you will be judged on how you clean lettuce.

The Refectory is one of the finest restaurants in Columbus, Ohio. One of the primary reasons it is able to maintain its position is because of how well its kitchen runs.  A great chef with a poor kitchen is like a great idea that never happens. And the reason the kitchen at the Refectory runs so well all boils down to the lettuce.

There are lots of young chefs who want to come and work at the Refectory and when they start, the first job they are given is to clean lettuce. As the owner, Kamal Boulos, explains, over the years he noticed a pattern.  The young chefs all sift out into one of three groups.

Group 1: "I'm too good for this."

Some assigned to the lettuce are not happy about it. They believe that cleaning lettuce is beneath them and they do it begrudgingly.  They complain and whine the whole time they are cleaning lettuce.

Group 2: "It is what it is."

Another group aren't happy about cleaning the lettuce, but they suck it up and get it done.  They may crack jokes the whole time and mock the process, but they don't complain about it.

Group 3: "I'm proud to be here."

The final group, regardless of their previous qualifications, embrace the job. They learn about the various kinds of lettuce, they come up with new ways to get the job done.  They embrace their role, they celebrate their cog in the machine, and they work with a focus as if lettuce cleaning was their chosen career.  They are proud to be a part of the kitchen and they will work their hardest regardless of the task assigned to them.

In reality, the Chef de Cuisine just wants his lettuce cleaned and he doesn't much care if someone cares to do the job or not (such is life in a fast-paced restaurant kitchen).  Though all may be perfectly competent  at cleaning lettuce, the one who will end up with a job at the Refectory is the one who is proud to serve, regardless of their role in the kitchen.

There is something to be said for how someone approaches their job, regardless of what it is. Ego can get in the way - not in terms of the quality of the job being performed, but in terms of the value to the organization at large. Too many organizations cling to the big egos because they are good at what they do. But that doesn't mean they are good for the organization.

The main reason Kamal Boulos wants to hire young chefs from group 3 is because in each job, the person performing that job is also responsible for training the person who will replace them. It's not just a skill set they are passing on, it's also an attitude. A bad attitude will beget a bad attitude. Or worse, if someone is hired only to clean lettuce, then how will he feel when the person training him thinks less of the work...does it mean he also thinks less of the person responsible for that work?

Over-sized egos may be good at what they do, but they can also be cancer in an organization. And the best organizations are not made up of dream-teams of brilliant independent minds all focused on themselves; they are made up of people absolutely devoted to the cause, the organization and each other.

If you're interested in reading more about the people who take great pride in their work, there is a great book called the Fred Factor filled with stories of people who love what they do...no matter what they do. 

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Overestimate Your Potential

There is real value in idealism.  Not simply for the vision that some idealists possess, but for the optimism that all idealists have.

The idealist, by definition, overestimates what is possible.  The realist, in contrast, estimates exactly what is possible (sometimes a little less, just to be safe).

At the end of the day, reality will prevail; you can count on it. So why do we need to help it along?  What if we were all idealists? What if we were all optimists?  What if we all overestimated what we were capable of...what would happen?

Great leaders are all idealists. They are all optimists. This is why they lead, because they overestimate what we are capable of and inspire us to believe the same. They spark something inside us that sets us on a path to become our true selves and achieve what we are TRULY capable of achieving, which is usually something vastly greater than is realistically possible.

This classic clip of Viktor Frankl says it all.

Frankl was a Holocaust survivor. While in a concentration camp, he was curious why some people had the will to live and others didn't.  His book (link below) is not a Holocaust account, it is a study of man. Given the extremity of the situation it makes a remarkably compelling case for a lesson we can apply to nearly every aspect of our lives: We cannot control the circumstances that happen around us, all we can control is our attitude.

If you're an entrepreneur, a student, a teacher, if you work for a corporation, are in the military, work for a non-profit or are in any other group I didn't mention, you must read this book.

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The Value Formula

In 1994, Michael Fay, an 18 year old living in Singapore with his father, was sentenced to caning for theft and vandalism.  A common sentence in Singapore for the crimes, it was the first time the sentence was handed down to an American citizen. As a result, the case became a national spectacle and caused some diplomatic tensions between the US and Singapore for quite a long time.

If you can put aside your opinions about corporal punishment for just a moment, consider the impact of the balance between the punishment and the crime.  In the West, we believe the punishment should fit the crime.  In Singapore, in contrast, they believe the punishment should vastly outweigh the crime. As a result, Singapore has one of the lowest crime rates in the world. Theft and vandalism are very rare occurrences there precisely because the punishment feels completely out of balance with the crime. 

There is no metric or calculation for a crime and the punishment it should receive. We simply draw an equals sign between the two and tinker with the punishment until it feels equal to the crime. But, as Singapore proves, the deterrent effect of punishment is vastly more effective when the punishment does not feel equal to the crime.

This is not, however, a piece about crime and punishment.  It is about value. More specifically, how we calculate it. Like crime and punishment, there is no metric or measurement to calculate value, it's a feeling. The problem is most companies perceive value like the Western notion of crime and punishment - they believe value is created when what you get and what you pay feel equal. This is the reason companies like to justify their cost by listing all the stuff you get.  "The reason this one is more expensive is because we use superior materials and better engineering," etc, etc, etc. More features, more benefits, more stuff on the list all in an attempt to create a rational, measurable calculation of value. How many times has someone said to you, "look what you get for the money," when trying to convince you to buy? They trying to force you to do a rational calculation to justify the cost.

In reality, value is a feeling.  And that feeling is created when someone perceives (not calculates) that what they are getting vastly outweighs what they are paying. If it were a calculation of getting more than you pay, we wouldn't call it value, we'd call it a bargain. And because value is a feeling, it takes more than stuff to have someone feel they are getting more. It takes a belief in the product, trust in the company, a sense of their WHY.  The more integrity a company or salesperson has, the clearer the WHY, the more belief and passion they have for their own company or products, the more imbalance exists and the greater the feeling of value.

This is the reason we feel we get more from Southwest Airlines even when they are not the cheapest. We feel we get more from Apple even though we can get more memory and speed for less money from other computer companies.  We feel Lego is worth the price even though you can get building blocks from other companies.  And Disney is not the only company that makes stuff for kids, but we feel their value is greater.

Sadly, a total misunderstanding of how to create value is the reason most purchases we make feel like...well...torture.

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Real Leaders Serve

“Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country,” implored John F. Kennedy in his inaugural address in 1961. On that day, Kennedy did more than ask us to serve our country, he asked us to lead our country so that our country could lead.

This is the irony to being a good leader and great leadership. The truly effective and inspiring leaders aren’t actually driven to lead people; they are driven to serve them. It is this subtle twist of logic that earns a good leader the loyalty and respect of those who ultimately serve them back. For a leader to be a leader he needs a following. And why should any individual want to follow another individual unless they felt that person would look out for them and their interests?

If you have anyone who reports to you at work, be it one person or 100, your job, if you want to be a good leader, is to help them be good at their job. This doesn’t mean doing their work for them; it means helping them get the resources and the information they need for them to perform their own jobs as well as they can. It also means watching their back and helping them fix mistakes when they make them. The more you do that, the more you will earn their trust so when you need them to go the extra mile for you, they will -- gladly. Not because you’re their boss, but because they respect and trust you.

Leadership is as much an environment as it is a practice. People should generally feel that you’re there to help them be the best version of themselves. A good leader builds a culture of service (i.e., if anyone asks for help or reveals that they don’t know something, someone will be there to support them). A leader’s job is not to do the work for others, it’s to help others figure out how to do it themselves, to get things done, and to succeed beyond what they thought possible.

Leaders lead not because they serve those above them; they lead because they serve those who serve them.

This article first appeared in my regular column, The Logistics of Leadership on askmen.com

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Celebrate Yourself

My first apartment in New York was pretty amazing.  It was a fairly large studio (based on New York standards) on the top floor of a four-floor walk up on the Upper East Side. The price was great too, $825 per month. This was nearly unheard of in a city in which studios half the size of mine usually cost double to rent.  The bathroom even had a skylight which meant I could pee by moonlight in the middle of the night.   It really was the perfect apartment...except for one thing.  There was a heating pipe that went straight through the bathroom.

It was a big, thick heating pipe that sat nearly 6 inches away from the wall…so it didn’t exactly blend it.  I couldn’t hang anything on it because it got so hot in the winter, it would burn anything that came near it.   It was awful.  It was painted white – the same color as the walls – but it still stuck out like a sore thumb.  This huge, horsey, hot heating pipe was like a big mole on the face of my little bathroom – you just had to stare at it. I couldn’t cover it up, there was no way I could get it to blend in.  So I opted for a new strategy. I painted it red.  Fire-engine red.  I figured if I couldn’t get it to blend in, I’d make it stand out.  And it worked. 

I hated that white pipe but I loved the red one.  Everyone loved the red pipe. Friends who would visit for the first time used to say, “too bad about that pipe” would now say, “I love that pipe.”  That pipe also taught me valuable lesson: the greatest thing about not fitting is that you don’t fit in.   

I recently wrote a piece about the misfits - the left-siders.  The left-siders are like the human version of the heating pipe.  Others can easily see we don't belong and too often we believe them. What makes us different will always set us  apart even if we try to blend in.  But if we follow the lesson of the red heating pipe, must embrace our misfitedness, point to it ourselves and celebrate it. When we paint it bright red, make it stand out even more, people start to admire us for the very same thing they used to mock or fear.  They end up loving us for that thing.  Maybe it's because deep down, everyone feels like a misfit, some people's misfit is just more obvious than others.  And maybe because, on some level everyone feels a bit of a misfit, when the real misfits celebrate it, they make everyone else feel better about themselves.  And that's a good thing.  This is what Lady Gaga does.  This is what Steve Jobs does.  This is what Tim Burton does.  And Jim Henson and Salvador Dali and Batman.

Only when we paint the thing that doesn't fit bright red does it become a thing of beauty.

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The Empowered Employee

I had just finished my breakfast at 3 Cups in Chapel Hill, NC - a cup of coffee and a biscuit. Getting ready to leave, I noticed they sold my new favorite brand of fancy chocolate, Askinosie. Being rather weak-willed when it comes to good chocolate, I picked up three bars of Askinosie Soconusco (highly recommended...it has cacao nibs on the top). I finished paying and was putting my money away when I noticed there were some little sample size Askinosies in a basket on the counter. I asked the young woman working behind the counter if they were free samples.

"No," she said, "they cost a $1 each." 

I put my hand back in my pocket to see if I had a dollar bill so I could get one.  I didn't.  A five was the smallest I had and only 3 quarters in the other pocket.  I didn't feel like breaking the bill. 

"Never mind," I said, "next time," as I turned to walk out. 

"Hold on," she said, "I'll buy you one."

She scanned the little chocolate and handed it to me with a smile.

I experienced something that I wish there was more of: the empowered employee. Empowered employees have the power to make decisions without a supervisor.  They are entitled to go off script, bend the rules, do what they see fit if they believe it is the right thing to do for the customer. More than any other kind of employee, the empowered employee is able to create a feeling of true customer service that ultimately yields much greater customer loyalty.

The irony of the empowered employee is that their empowerment has nothing to do with the employee. It's not a skill on their resume. There is no specific training required. Empowered employees exist as a result of the way a company is run. When the company has a strong culture born out of a set of clear values and beliefs and hires people who are good fits - who belong in their culture - then they are much more likely to trust their people to do the right thing. And that's exactly what they do.

In my case, this empowered employee spent the company's money. At most other stores, the eunuch working behind the counter would have just shrugged.  At 3 Cups, the employee decided to give a customer who just bought breakfast for two people and $23 worth of chocolate a $1 worth of chocolate on the house - a cost to the store of 50 cents at most.  As a result of the decision made by one empowered employee, one customer walked away smiling and then told thousands of people to go to 3 Cups the next time they happen to find themselves in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

The alternative is not to empower your employees and save the 50 cents.

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Tell Santa (And Everyone Else)

During the holidays, a lot of kids get exactly what they want. And the reason is simple - because they tell Santa exactly what they want. In reality, Santa didn't get them anything. It was their parents who went to the store, stood in line, spent the money, wrapped the presents and made the wish come true.  Santa may get the credit, but the reason mom and dad were able to get it right is because kids don't just tell Santa what they want, they tell EVERYONE what they want.

The same still applies even when we grow up. We can still get exactly what we want if we tell everyone exactly what we want. But, for some reason, we stop telling everyone our hopes, dreams, desires and aspirations. Or, if we tell anyone, we only tell the people who we think can help. That's the same as kids only telling Santa and not their parents what they want for Christmas. And if that happens, the odds are not so great that the guy in a Santa suit working at the mall can ensure they will get exactly what they want.

The truth is, we have no idea where opportunity lies, who can help us fulfill our dreams or find the things we need.  The more people we tell, however, the more people can get involved and help make things happen.

I would love to speak at every business school and public policy school in America so that our future leaders will all know how to start with WHY before their careers get going. Know anyone who can help?

I would love to speak at universities across the country to inspire undergraduates how to figure out what to do when they get out of school - to show them how to pursue what inspires them. Know anyone who can help?

The people who make an impact in the world don't keep their ideas to themselves. They talk about their dreams incessantly. And everyone inspired by the dream will volunteer to help - for no other reason than because they too want to see those things happen.

Share what you would love to make happen. Tell me, tell everyone you know.  Who knows...maybe Santa will be listening.

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Short-Hand

Are you living the American Dream?

Here's a better question - how do you even know what the American Dream is?

The "American Dream" is the short-hand we use to refer to the promise America offers us.  It is deeply grounded in the founding purpose of the country: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  Sure there are tangible things that go along with the American Dream - owning a house, starting a business, pursing any career you want - but all these things are proof the American Dream exists. 

At the end of the day, the American Dream is a feeling.  It is the emotional connection we have to the founding purpose of the nation.  And because it is a feeling, we struggle to put it into concise words.  So we develop a short-hand, some words that, by themselves, don't mean anything - but they label the feeling and become a simple way for us to talk about it.  It becomes a real tangible thing.

Companies with a strong sense of WHY - a strong sense of a higher purpose, cause or belief also have a short-hand to refer to the emotional bond the employees and the customers have with the founding cause.  At Disney, they call it, "The Magic."

The Magic is the short-hand that Disney refers to as a way of summing up all their values, what they believe and Why the company was founded in the first place.  By itself, it means nothing. The short-hand is given meaning over time, because everything that Disney says and does is so consistent, so clear, that we can see it, we can feel it, but we don't have words for it.  Every employee is responsible for managing The Magic and every customer will experience it.  But it's still not a thing; it's a feeling.

If your company or organization has a clear sense of purpose, one that people - employees or customers - can form an emotional attachment to, then you probably have a way to refer to that feeling - your own short-hand.

And if you don't, the question becomes, then why should anyone want to do business with you?  What Dream will they have, what Magic will they experience?  Or do you just aim to sell them some products and services.  Actually, there is a short-hand for that too...it's called a commodity.

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It Takes Two

Walt Disney was the visionary, the man who took the risk, but his brother, Roy Disney brought the dream to life.  Martin Luther King was the man with the dream, but it was Ralph Abernathy, a man whose name has been long forgotten, who stood up after Dr. King and told people what to do.  Bill Gates was the WHY guy who imagined a PC on every desk, Bill Gates imagined a world in which we would all be able to achieve our true potential.  But it was Paul Allen, lurking in the shadows, who knew HOW to make it happen.

No matter how clear the vision, no matter how high the risk tolerance, a leader is nothing with out the first person to stand-up to join.  For a movement to grow, for an idea to spread and for a company to become something special...it takes two. The dancer is WHY. The first follower is HOW.  When those two unite - watch WHAT happens.

Derek Sivers from MuckWork sums it up best:

You Have To Try To Find Out

When I was 4 or 5 years old, in an effort to get me to stop pulling silly faces, my mother told me that if I was pulling a face when the clock struck the hour, whatever face I was pulling would stick.  This was certainly enough to get me to exercise caution when pulling faces. But I wasn't convinced.  Scared, yes.  But not convinced. So I did an experiment to find out.

I distinctly remember standing in front of a mirror with a clock waiting for the hour to strike.  I tried a variety of faces and settled on one that wasn't too bad, one that I could live with if indeed my face would stick and I would be forced to look like that for the rest of my life.  I pulled the face and waited.

It didn't stick.  Phew.  Relief.

Trying something in a small way before you commit is a good practice. Detergent manufacturers recommend trying a stain removing product on an inconspicuous part of the garment before rubbing it all over the stain - just to be sure it doesn't do damage before you commit. 

If you want to try something new with your business, try in a small way first. Test it out. Just to be sure. Sometimes we're blinded by our passion or sometimes we just fall in love with our own ideas and start committing massive time and energy to something that, ultimately, isn't really a great idea.  The goal is not to suppress the thinking...just to try it out in a small way first to be sure it sticks.

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How Leaders Speak

There is an inextricable link between leadership and communication. Leaders are the ones who can clearly communicate their vision. And the ones who can clearly communicate their vision are the ones who can lead.

You do not have to be the smartest guy in the room to be the leader. In fact, it is widely accepted by many historians that two of the smartest men to hold the presidency in recent history, the guys with the highest IQ, were Jimmy Carter and Richard Nixon. Yet, Ronald Reagan, regardless if you agreed with his politics or not, went down in history for having been one of the most popular presidents of all time. He inspired a nation, presided over the booming ‘80s and was responsible for winning the Cold War. He was not known as one of our smartest presidents -- he was known, instead, as “The Great Communicator.”

Great leaders don’t spend all their time talking about what they can do. Great leaders talk about what they can see. That’s why we call what they talk about “vision.” They imagine a world that others can’t see and they share their vision with words. They don’t use statistics to make their point; they use vivid imagery.

It takes two things to be a great communicator:

First, you need to be an optimist. You need to look beyond the current situation and be able to imagine a time, no matter how far away -- a week, a month or a decade -- that is better than now.

Second, you must be able to put what you can imagine into simple words that everyone can understand; it doesn’t help to use a big vocabulary. It does help to use language that can be clearly understood by a truck driver and a scientist -- simple, understandable and repeatable language.

Using words like “I can see” or “I imagine” or “I believe” to start your thoughts helps paint a picture of that image. For example, what if I told you that statistics show that when people enjoy going to work their overall productivity and general happiness improves? If we develop a series of systems and processes to steadily increase people’s enjoyment of work, then work would get better. It’s an accurate statement, but would you be inspired to work with me in that pursuit? Probably not. But what if I said this:

I imagine a time not too far from now in which every single person who goes to work loves what they do. This is the world I can see. Can you imagine going to work every single day and loving what you do and the people you work with? How do you think that would impact your work or even your personal life? This is the world I imagine and it is possible if we work together to create it. Join me. Choose to lead. Choose to inspire. If you do, I know we will be successful. If you lead those around you, if you inspire the people around you, every one of us will wake up and love going to work. Are you in or are you out?

Same message, but only one inspires.

How Leaders Speak comes from my Logistics of Leadership column on Askmen.com

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Ask Questions

I used to have a boss a long time ago who never answered a single question I asked. He only replied with questions. And because of it, he got better work out of me, he stayed informed and he taught me self-reliance. No matter what I asked him, he’d always reply: “What do you think we should do?” Sometimes he’d ask if I’d considered certain circumstances or impacts -- but he never gave me an answer -- he always helped me find the answer myself. He was a great leader.

The quality of a leader cannot be judged by the answers he gives, but by the questions he asks. Leadership is not about always being right, it’s about finding the right answers. And finding the right answers can only come when you involve others. The reason is simple: You only know what you know and you don’t know what you don’t know. The reason a leader needs to ask questions -- and lots of them -- is to gain more information, learn more and hear other perspectives. Only then can the best decisions be made.

Knowing how to ask questions is not as easy as it sounds. Many people ask leading questions -- questions designed to elicit the answer they want. “What do you think of option A?” is a leading question. “What do you think is the best option?” is not.

Great leaders all know they don’t know everything and never try to prove they do. They don’t mind if it is their idea or someone else’s idea that gets implemented as long as it is the best idea that moves forward. They stay smart by surrounding themselves with people who are smarter and know more about certain subjects than they do. Again, great leaders don't know all the answers; they are the ones who know how to inspire others to help them find the best answers.

Asking questions is a remarkable tool and it should be used as often as possible, not just when a decision needs to be made.

This was originally posted on Askmen.com from my column, The Logistics of Leadership

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The Left-Siders

The world is a bell curve.  Class room test scores, employee performance in a company or how many people really, really like you. No matter the population you're studying, they always fit neatly across the standard deviations of the famous bell curve. The most important thing about the bell curve is that it is always balanced.  If there are high performers on one side, that means there are low performers on the other.  It is always balanced.  Which brings me to the top of this blog: the insane. 

If we look at our population at large, we know that there are some that don't seem to fit well within the majority...in the middle of the curve. On the one side are the ones who end up in jail, in asylums or simply as outcasts.  We know that this population exists, then what's on the other side to balance them off?

There are, in fact, two groups of society's misfits.

The first group, from the right side of the curve, are the socially dysfunctional misfits. These are the groups I just mentioned. They don't seem to live on the same planet as everyone else.  They see things the most others can't. Worse, they lack the ability to interact in normal society. Which is why we push them to the side and point at them.

On the left side of the curve is another group of misfits. Like their brothers and sisters from across the curve, they also seem to live on another planet. They also see things most others can't. However, they are able to live what appear to be normal lives - i.e. they are socially functional.  But don't be fooled. They are still misfits.

If you see things others can't and you're from the right side of the curve, they call you insane.  If you see things others can't and you're from the left side, they call you a visionary.  If you march to the beat of your own drum from the right side, they call you an outcast.  If you march to the beat of your own drum from the left side, they call you unique or authentic.

The left-siders live among us, but they are not always easy to spot. You may have interacted with one at work once or twice. When they are young in their careers, we walk out of meetings with them and think they are weirdos.  When they are advanced in their careers, we walk out of meetings with them and think they are geniuses.

This blog is for the left-siders out there.  You know who you are. The worst part about being a left sider is that it's lonely.  There are not that many out there, the majority - the middle of the bell - don't understand you. They can't see what you see.  They can't imagine the world you can.

I have one word of advice for all of you - don't stop.  Don't quit.  Never give up trying to build the world you can see, even if others can't see it. Listen to your drum and your drum only. It's the one that makes the sweetest sound.  And most importantly, when you meet other left-siders, give them a wink, let them know you know...and help them out when they need it.

The only way the left-siders change the world is when they band together to help each other.

If you suspect you're a left-sider - email me and let me know the world you imagine. I may know someone who can help you.

If you suspect you know someone who is a left-sider, stay close to them, protect them and help them. Often, they are their own worst enemies. They can get in their own way and, if they can't clearly communicate the things they can see, others will fear them or ostracize them. The reason to help them, however, is that they are the ones who lead us into the future. They are the ones who change the world.

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SEX...and other marketing techniques

Good, now that I've got your attention... 

This was a common practice used by budding marketers when I was in college.  There would be a flyer hanging in some hallway of a dorm and at the top of the page, in HUGE letters, was the word "SEX".  When you went to read it, you realized it had nothing to do with sex. It was some poster for a chess club meeting or something; they just used the word SEX to make you read it....and it worked.

But it's not marketing.

It's an example of a gimmick, a trick or a stunt designed to attract your attention away from your daily routine. It's designed to get you to look, but beyond that, it has no marketing value. Sure it's effective for the moment, but that's the problem.

The stress of "standing out from the crowd," "differentiating," or "breaking through the clutter" is so great today that most professional marketers have forgone the long-term value of good marketing in favor of quick-fix tricks designed simply to "break through."  Doing something in the middle of a city center to get on the news, no matter how creative, is not good marketing...it's just a stunt.  This is the reason most guerrilla marketing is not good marketing, most are one-off stunts. In contrast, good marketing can be repeated.  Many marketers are suffering because of their reliance on tricks, gimmicks and stunts, which over time become increasingly expensive and, ironically, do more to add to the problem than solve it.

Good marketing draws your attention not because it interrupts you; good marketing attracts you. It appeals to you on a visceral level.  Good marketing reflects who you are, what you believe and what you love.  It's not about prices or features...or sex.  Good marketing communicates a message, a cause or a belief.

I have a very simple test for good marketing. If your customers want to hang your marketing on their fridge at home or in their cubical at work...congratulations, you've made something that appeals to someone on a visceral level.

People who like high design used to hang Absolut ads on their walls because they were pieces of high design. People who fancy themselves iconoclasts used to hang "Think Different" ads on their walls because the ads told a story about how they saw themselves.  Athletes like to hang "Just Do It" ads in their lockers because the advertising inspires them.

If all you want is to drive a transaction, "sex" on the top of a flyer will serve your purposes.  If you want to lead, then you need good marketing.  The reason is simple: good marketing doesn't last for a moment...it lasts forever.

(You can click on each ad below to see the bigger version.  You may even want to print one out and hang it on your fridge.)

             

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How Starting A Business Is Like The Making Of Star Wars

In 1977, the world was introduced to the epic sci-fi adventure, Star Wars.  That little film (it cost $11 million to make (about $38 million adjusted to today's dollars)) has gone on to gross $2.7 billion worldwide. It was also nominated for 11 Academy Awards that year, winning 7 of them.  The original Star Wars has made more money in the United States than the last three prequel movies combined...and they cost $115 million EACH to produce.  And...not a single one of them won a single Oscar.

How is it possible that with all that money, experience and expertise, the Star Wars prequels weren't even able to come close to the classic original?

The answer is simple.  The original Star Wars movie was like a small business; it was an entrepreneurial venture. Under funded and inexperienced, nothing went right on the set of the original Star Wars. The robots didn't work properly. They had to work quickly because of such a small budget.  But the one thing they had going in their favor - the thing that made it all work - was that everyone involved in the project realized they were a part of something special and they all rallied together to make it work.  Though George Lucas was the visionary, it was the actors and the crew that made Star Wars great.  The success of Star Wars came from the blood, sweat and tears of all those involved...from all those who believed.

In contrast, the prequels functioned more like corporations.  Flush with cash, they hired the best of everything.  Like a corporation, the prequels were enamored with themselves and what they could do and how impressive it all was. In contrast, the first film set out to tell a story and challenge the status quo of how movies were made.  Like a corporation in love with its own technology instead offering value to consumers, special effects were used to support the story in the first film whereas in the prequels they were the story.  In the last three films, there was no vision and no dream.

The similarities don't stop there.

Like a big corporate CEO, in the prequels, the rich and successful George Lucas controlled every detail.  He wrote the scripts, he directed the movies and he oversaw all the special effects...and no one questioned a single decision he made along the way for fear of upsetting the great George Lucas.

But in the first film, Lucas was more like an entrepreneur.  A guy with a big vision, working a little outside of his league, a little over his head.  But his vision inspired those around him.  And they came together to help bring that vision to life. It wasn't George Lucas that made the first Star Wars, it was all those who believed in the vision George Lucas painted.

If you're a small business, let those who believe in your vision help you.  There is plenty of time in the future for you to become big and successful and screw it all up by yourself.  For now, let others help you be successful.

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Live Your Childhood Dream

When I was young, I wanted to be an astronaut.  I had posters from the space program on my wall and I could recite factoids about astronauts and various missions. I remember coming home after school the day Space Shuttle Challenger blew up in 1986 and sitting on the couch watching the footage over and over and just crying my eyes out. I wanted to be an astronaut to badly, I even went to Space Camp in Huntsville, Alabama when I was in the 7th or 8th grade.  I was so proud, I wore my flight suit to school the first day back. Most people thought I was a dork, but I didn't care...I was going to be an astronaut and I was proud of it.

Recently, someone asked me why I wanted to be an astronaut. Ironically, considering what I do for a living, I'd never actually thought about it. Why I wanted to be an astronaut was simple. I wanted to see the world from a perspective most people don't, then come home and share all the amazing stories with others so they could see what I saw.

As the words came out of my mouth, I caught myself.  And that's when I realized it.  I never went to space, but I am an astronaut.  I am living my childhood dream.

For years, I did as I was told, followed a path others said I should follow. All those years, I wasn't living my childhood dream, I was just making a living. It wasn't until I lost my passion that I was forced to try something new.  It was then that I discovered the concept of WHY. What I do now is different from floating in space, but WHY I do it is exactly the same. This explains the reason I love getting out of bed every morning.  I get to be an astronaut.

Think about what you dreamed of being when you were 10 years old.  Then ask yourself WHY you wanted to be that?  Then the questions is, are you living your childhood dream now?

I strongly recommend being what you wanted to be when you were 10.  It's a lot better than growing up.

I Am A Failure

There is no other way to look at it.  I am a failure.

I started a business 8 years ago but it was far from successful.  We had good clients, we did good work, but we weren't able to scale it in any meaningful way. We basically just kept the doors open.  We never got good at implementing all the systems and processes needed for stability and growth.  And passion alone, as I learned, is not enough to keep a business functioning.

By all standard measurements that society provides and even some I set for myself, I am indeed a failure.  I never made a lot of money. I didn't win any awards. And I seem to fail all the tests "they say" I need to pass - like having a business plan and writing down all my goals every year.

Passion was all I had. But after 4 years of slogging away, I ran out of it. I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning.  Any appearance of success or happiness was an act.  And any energy I  had left went into sustaining that act instead of trying to affect change. I'll never forget it. From September 2005 to December 2005 I was the closest I've ever been to depression.  I may have even been there.

It was then that I learned the most valuable lesson of my life.  Failure you can do alone but success always takes help. I could no longer try to be successful alone.

My closest friends could tell I wasn't my old self.  They knew something was up and they worried. My friend Kendra Coppey, in particular, came to my aid (not so ironically, her WHY is to help people live the life they want to live and she even started a company to help people do it).

It was the people around me who knew me best, who valued me in their lives not for what I had achieved (or hadn't achieved) but for who I was. Kendra was one of the first who told me that I inspired her. That word, the thing she said she valued most about me in her life, in turn, inspired me.  The more people I asked "why are you friends with me?" the more people told me "because you inspire me." And the more people who told me, the more inspired I felt.

My WHY is to inspire people to do the things that inspire them so that together we can have an impact, even change the world. I still haven't completely figured out all the details of how I'll do it.  I still don't know how to build structure, but I do know WHY I'm trying: to inspire.  I may not be successful by the standards of others, but I feel more successful than I've ever felt before. 

I will never fail alone again.  I would rather succeed with the help of others.  I have surrounded myself with people who believe in me and I stay close to those in whom I believe.

Success will come together.

And that's the reason I included a picture of Martin Luther King.  Because it inspires me to share my message. To inspire others. To live my WHY and to work everyday to get that message to as many people as I can.

Join the movement.  Do one thing today before you go home that will inspire someone and together, we will change the world.

Lead A Crusade

A crusade is any vigorous movement to advance an idea, cause or belief.

A crusader is one driven by absolute faith in that idea.

At its founding, a company is a crusade and all the original employees are the crusaders.  They are resource constrained. Everyone tells them they are mad and the odds are overwhelming that they will fail.  But it doesn't matter.  Everyone believes. They believe in the vision. They want to change an industry...maybe even change the world. They don't know how they will succeed, but it doesn't matter...it is their faith that drives them.

With time and stability, however, the reason WHY the company was founded is often forgotten.  Ideals are replaced by goals. Passion replaced by incentives.  Purpose and cause take a backseat to strategies and tactics.  Faith is replaced by structure. The crusade becomes an organization. And the company of crusaders become the managers of infrastructure.

Systems and processes are essential to keep the crusade going, but they should not replace the crusade.  They are the essential supply lines that ensure valuable resources are able to travel from the rear to the front lines. It is the structure that helps keep the vision alive. But it is the structure that must serve the vision and not the other way around.

Senior managers are responsible for managing the organization. 

The role of the leader is to keep the faith alive.

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Lazy Trust

I was one of the 67 recipients on the email.  "Cancer Update from Johns Hopkins University" it said in the title. My well meaning friend sent this email to lots of people he knows for good reason.  According to a study Johns Hopkins recently conducted, putting plastic wrap in the microwave or freezing plastic bottles can increase your chance of getting cancer.

The problem is, it's a hoax.

There are many good things that the internet offers us. Almost unlimited access to unlimited information. We no longer have to go to the library to write a term paper. We no longer have to go to the corner store to buy today's newspaper. We can shop from home, rent movies and find friends from high school on Facebook.

The downside is, it's made us lazy.  Very, very lazy.  As soon as I received the above email, I googled the title of it and the first thing that came up was a link from the actual Johns Hopkins University debunking the story (as well as many others). 

The whole process from receiving the email and learning if it was real or not took me all of 3.7 seconds. I didn't have to call Johns Hopkins. I didn't have to research the properties of dioxins and what happens to them when you freeze them.  Nothing. All thanks to the mighty internet.

But we're lazy. We see things on TV. We hear things from our friends. We get an email from someone and off we go. The rise of blogging hasn't helped any, either. Many newspaper and magazines still maintain journalistic standards (though television news seems to be a little more loose because of the time pressure they face to get news up as soon as someone else reports it -- think Bush-Gore 2000 or rumors of gun violence during Katrina). But most bloggers have no training as journalists and are much more liberal with their fact-checking.

So it's up to us. We need to get better at checking our own facts because our friends, the TV news and bloggers aren't gonna to it for us.

The next time someone sends you something with a bogus claim, go to this site, http://lmgtfy.com, do the search for them and send them back the link. I think you'll make your point.  Click here to see what I mean.

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Play Tennis With Someone Better

When Christina plays tennis, she doesn't always win. She's not a bad player; quite the opposite. The reason she doesn't win all the time is that she prefers to play against someone much better than she is. When she does, it pushes her to play much harder than if she played someone below or even at her level. In fact, she gets mad at herself if she wins too often or too easily...it means that she's not challenging herself enough.

Who we choose to compare ourselves to or compete against significantly impacts our future performance. Lots of people are so afraid of losing, they choose to play against someone they know they can beat or at least compete on a level playing field with.  These people will definitely win more often than Christina. And they may improve somewhat. But they won't advance as far as Christina in the long run. How can they? They are not pushing themselves or learning anything new.

We do the same with our careers. All too often, we compare ourselves to those at our level.  Why not compare ourselves to someone way beyond ourselves? If you own a small company - don't compete against other small companies - compete against the biggest and the best.  If you're a mid-level employee - don't aim for the job just above yours, aim for the top job.

If we compare ourselves to the average, then the average is our benchmark. If we compare ourselves to the best, then that's the bar to beat. We should request to be on the team of people smarter than ourselves, demand to be the junior man on the senior team, plead to be the inexperienced one on the project staffed with all the most experienced people. If we always surround ourselves with people much better than ourselves and openly declare that we're there to learn and to compete and to improve...then we will learn, we will compete and we will improve.

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One Is Not Enough

"If I can help even one of you be more successful," says the speaker standing in front of a crowd of 400 people," then I've done my job."

It's amazing how often people say that.  "If I can help just one..."  That seems like a very low standard.  Just one?  Why not 10? or 100? or 300? Or as many as possible?

How many people would feel confident if their child's third grade teacher said, "if I can help just one student be successful, then I've done my job." What about the other 33 kids in the class?  It's acceptable to aim for everyone and miss a few. There is no great value, however, in aiming for a few and being satisfied when you get them.

Providing value in the world means that the things you say and the things you do have the power to help many more than one person or one company.  If what you do provides value to the vast minority, then you're either talking to the wrong audience or setting your goals too low.  Whatever the cause, something has to change.

I have known many small and medium sized businesses who seem very successful from the outside. They make good money and they have lovely offices. They seem to be riding high and are quite satisfied with what they've built.  Upon closer inspection, however, you'll find that all that fancy Herman Miller furniture is basically being paid for by a single client. If a company has an "anchor" client or a sugar daddy or whatever else we want to call it...then what they have is a client, not a business. A business offers something of value to more than one.

It's totally acceptable to have a big client, even a dominant client, but a company is just not stable if its entire existence depends on one single piece of business. Either the goals need to be raised or a new strategy needs to be employed. Whatever the course of action, an organization only offers value to the world if more than one can say what they do is valuable...and then be willing to pay for it.

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